Saturday, 19 November 2011

Will the real Rosemary West please stand up

One of two dreams in the same night, this being the first that I woke up from.
Everything is in cartoon, and I've entered Britain's got talent. My talent being that I can wrestle sharks. This clearly would be ridiculous in normal life given that either me or the shark are going to have breathing difficulties, but in cartoon world, the shark can happily stand on its tail and put up a good fight. Such a good fight in fact that he bites off both my forearms leaving me at severe disadvantage and effectively putting my shark wrestling career to an abrupt end.
I am then no longer a cartoon and I'm in a partly derelict house looking out of the window at Serial killer Rosemary West who is trying to get in the house but I won't let her in. I'm dressed in an orange boiler suit the same as rapper Slim Shady but without the baseball cap and I watch as she eats a handful of sand and then walks off.
Next there is a knock at the door and lots of police enter and arrest me for GBH on Rose West. I'm handcuffed and sit on the bed as the police search the house for evidence of my alleged misdemeanour. ( I'm guessing sand ) It's at this point that the handcuffs fall off my wrists onto the floor as I don't have any hands.


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