Thursday, 22 December 2011

Queens visit, cannabis factory & Hoover

I never knew how much preparation is required when the head of state is coming to visit.
I am frantically cleaning my mums house, panicking that it won't be ready in time before she arrives.
Finally I am happy that's it's good enough to present to her majesty and go outside for some air before the royal visit.
It's at this point that whilst checking the woods round the rear of the house that I discover a huge wooden building. My work colleague, Derek arrives and says that it's a security risk and promptly boots the door open.
Inside is the most elaborate cannabis factory, tons of plants growing, piles of the drug piled high ready to be shipped out. Derek is very excited.
We go back round to the street to where we have a van parked and decide to use it to fill with the illegal haul. As I'm getting into the van I hear a woman shouting and swearing walking towards me. I notice its a woman I recently saw on TV that suffers from Tourette's.
I'm next at a public swimming pool with my wife but it's totally full of children and they are annoying us.
We get out of the water and stand waiting to go through the door into the changing rooms. Next to the door is an early style upright vacuum cleaner and I discuss how I'm going to use it to clean the pool out with.
My wife isn't so sure of my plan and gives me a quizzical look.

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