Monday, 12 March 2012

Alan Carr hatred & dine with me weirdo

Walking through a hotel complex attempting to get to the top floor for a medical examination, I am hampered by the 20 foot pole I am holding.
I struggle with it in the lift, along corridors and eventually reach the room I need, leaving the pole outside, I don't question why I was carrying it.

I enter to find the doctor is Chinese and about 8 years old.
In my mind I am aware that the doctor has an intense dislike towards comedian, Alan Carr. As he starts the examination, I casually mention Alan's name.
This sends the mini doctor into a rage and he shouts and kicks his desk telling me to get out.

I'm next in my mums house upstairs watching non league football on TV with my older sister. Both of these things would never happen for real.
We are eating soup in square bowls and as I reach the bottom of mine I notice a ceramic square see saw that fits neatly inside. I then spend an age trying to get the soup that has fallen beneath the see saw to no avail.

Finally my wife and myself are the hosts to the TV show, 'Come dine with me'. We seem to be hosting it in our garden under a marquee and the first guest is a woman in a total trance who promptly wanders off.
The other three quests are two fat vulgar women who arrive drunk and the token gay contestant is an Asian man.

I am cooking a curry but notice a child has eaten my starter, in despair I take a sip of wine and promptly become drunk.
The two fat women are laughing and falling over the table, the gay guy is crying and the woman in a trance has fallen into the fish pond!
To top it all the voice over man says, 'Oh look they live in affordable housing'!
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