Thursday, 1 March 2012

Rolf Harris roller coaster riot

Initially I am working for a man that owns a factory. I am planting peanuts in the ground inside the factory when my boss tells me he is bankrupt.
Little wonder really, I'm no peanut expert but I'm sure they grow outside.

We both leave the factory, board a
train and exit it at Dagenham East underground station on the district line.
Neither of us have purchased tickets and as we walk past the ticket collector I produce a fake police ID and tell him that my boss is a wanted man I have arrested.
He let us through. Fool.

Next I find myself at a table sitting drinking the finest Port that money can buy, my host is HRH Prince Phillip.
He is aware that I don't drink alcohol but insists I try it, I take a tentative sip and it's amazing, the best thing I've ever tasted.

Next I'm with my friend Timmy, we are in my car and happily driving along the road.
I hasten to add that I am not drink driving given my previous visit to HRH.
Suddenly I am aware that another car is chasing us, I accelerate in an attempt to lose my pursuer but he matches my speed.

I reach the top of a hill only to find I'm on a roller coaster, no ordinary one, it's a themed Rolf Harris thrill ride.
We plummet down an almost vertical drop past paintings, (can you tell what it is yet)? kangaroos and koala bears all to the sound of Rolf singing 'Tie me kangaroo down sport'.

As we reach the bottom of the ride Timmy leans out of the car and stabs a really fat woman standing watching us. Instead of her bleeding, she just punctures and deflates shooting into the air like a balloon.
We continue to drive and reach an abandoned building.

What ensued was a large scale riot as hundreds of people started throwing bricks and jugs of water at us. On the plus side any petrol bombs were quickly put out by the jugs of water. Not the brightest rioters to be fair.

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