Monday, 30 April 2012

Golf balls, curry & parrots

Starting off I was attempting to get my dog to have a wee in the garden but he just kept running into the bushes and coming out with golf balls.

Next I'm sitting at a table with my wife and Nigel from work, before us is an elaborate array of Indian food. Love curry.
Before I get a chance to eat I leave the room and enter a burnt out garage, it's blackened and smells like charcoal.

I walk out of the garage into the street and find a huge bird cage with two parrots inside it.
I open the cage and let them fly free.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

I smell cheese

Laying sleeping I may have been dreaming but only have the recognition of cheese.
Not a visual picture of cheese but an odour. I was aware that I was sleeping but had the strong smell of hot melted cheese. Nom

I opened my eyes to see a plate of cheese on toast under my nose and my wife wafting it before me.

I was then informed that our friend Lee Ann was about to visit and I needed to get up.

Cheese on toast works every time for me.

Saturday, 28 April 2012

OAP chair & severed heads

I had been away from work on leave for three months and returned sitting myself in one of those upright chairs designed for old people. High backed and easy for getting up out of.

As I sat there a parade of work colleagues walked past me and I told everyone in turn that I'd been off for three months, to the extent that I got bored of saying it.

Next I put on the TV and started to watch a history programme about people's heads being removed throughout the ages.

The presenter was showing a book binder in the shape of a crocodiles head and then various blackened severed heads that belonged to unfortunate individuals who'd had them removed.

Friday, 27 April 2012

Max dancing & mini train

Visiting a very nice restaurant for a meal, I was somewhat dismayed to see one of the diners was wearing a baseball cap.
The individual was waving his arms in the air and rapping in a seated dance routine much to the annoyance of the other people. I leave without ordering.

Next I am steering a miniature steam train along the street via a long mental pole attached to the front of it.
It was making all the sounds of a real steam train including the whistle.

There was a programme on TV called seven dwarfs about little people in a pantomime. One was called Max and the diner at the restaurant was dancing the same as he did in a robot style.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Crisps, tunnels & cable ties

Starting off I was in a small shop with my wife and she wanted a bag of cheese and onion crisps.
I ask a young lad if they have any and he just gives me attitude.
We leave as we are not buying anything from cheeky shop assistants.

Next I'm on a bus on the top deck with an old work colleague called John and my dads oldest friend, Doyle.
John suddenly straps a ladder to another passengers back and jumps out of the window while the bus is moving, landing in Sainsbury's supermarket car park. He runs off laughing.

My wife and I are then wandering through long dark tunnels, we spend an age in a labyrinth of passages until we finally exit on the side of a large hill.

Finally I'm in the kitchen at my mums house and her door mat has plastic cable ties growing upwards from it mixed with parsley.
I spend ages carefully picking the cable ties out so that the parsley can have a better chance of flourishing,as if I'm weeding.

As I woke I had the song, 'Have you seen her', a 1971 hit from The Chi-Lites

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Taxi driver hostility

I seem to have been some kind of investigator last night, as I was called to a taxi office with a boarded up front window.

Every driver was Asian and the window was about three foot square that had the wood very neatly covering the broken window and it had been painted white to make it neater.

The owner informed me that his brothers taxi office also had a broken window and asked me to go and see him.
He then proceeded to kick out the wooden panel from his broken window and presented it to me to repair his brothers smashed glass.

I take it and arrive at his brothers taxi office only to find that several windows are broken and the panel is sadly lacking in size.
The office is full of Asian drivers, all of which start to shout and talk at the same time at their displeasure at the windows.
Given this slightly hostile reception, I decide my best option is to leave.

The last thing I can recall prior to waking was cleaning a kitchen worktop with a square scouring pad. There were computer keyboards imbedded into the work surface and I used the scouring pad to clean in between the keys.

Whilst I'm painstakingly performing this task my wife is sat on the worktop reading a book.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Pet apples & belly spots

A normal nights dreaming, for me anyway.
I start by informing my mum that I've sold her house to a bunch of foreigners and she will have to move out.
Mum isn't best pleased at this news, especially as she doesn't actually own it.

I set about wallpapering all the bedrooms in a mix match of different various paper that doesn't match.
I go to sleep for one last time in my old childhood room and I'm awoken by my older sister asking if I want the bathroom first.

I decide I want first dibs in the shower and get up and notice my reflection in the mirror. I have a huge fat belly covered in red spots.

Next my mother in law has some pet apples and gives me a pair to look after.
They are red, have little legs and faces. I put them into a sand pit and arrange for them to go to the vets for a check up.

When I return to collect them, they have turned into my two pet guinea pigs who's names are Eric and Ernie.

Monday, 23 April 2012

Baby your a firework

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y'

That's all I have! Katy Perry belting out these words the whole time I slept.

Sleeping during the day really does mess up my dream cycle.

You dream only during the last third of a sleep cycle (each cycle last about 1h30).
If you wake up during the other two thirds of your sleep cycle, the parts where you do not dream, then you won't remember any dreams.

Back to normal tomorrow.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Land of hope & hello mum!

Short and sweet as normal for my day time slumber.

To the very British sound of 'Land of hope and Glory', a camera is panning through a patriotic crowd as they proudly sing along.
The entire scene is filled with happy faces all waving various flags and banners in a sea of red white and blue.

The camera changes to a cemetery where a crude row of flags have been tied to gravestones resembling a run down housing estate that has tatty England flags still hanging from windows years after a major football tournament.

Changing back to the jubilant crowd, the camera stops on a group of three people and a child looks across at the big screen and suddenly realises they are on TV.
As always happens the camera switches from them at the precise moment the child informs the others with an excited point to the screen.

The theme from Edward Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance March No 1 had the words fitted to the melody on the suggestion of King Edward VII who told Elgar he thought the melody would make a great song.
Arthur Christopher Benson, wrote the lyrics in 1902.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

My name is Santa Claus

Waking to the sound of Elaine Page performing Memory from the musical Cats, I pondered over my brief but vivid dream.

I was initially testing thick various types of bleach with my wife in a kitchen. Nothing scientific, we were seeing which one poured down the sink best to our liking and were scoring them accordingly.

A man enters the room and speaking directly to me tells me that he needs me to be Santa Claus as the current one is unavailable.
I start to talk and realise that I am in fact legendary actor, Michael Caine.
I explain that my TV is not an updated model and for that reason can't be Santa.

Eventually the man persuades me to take on the roll as the festive icon and I sit as Michael Caine as Santa, watching TV in a small kitchen whilst my wife continues pouring bleach down the sink.

Clearly Santa and Michael are above such chores.

Friday, 20 April 2012

Gambling & painted boobs

I don't feature in the first section of my dream, instead my wife takes centre stage and finds a $10 casino chip in an underground station.
Pleased with her find she flicks it into the air, spinning it into the distance.

The chip lands onto a roulette table, coming to rest on a number.
The wheel spins and she wins a small amount of money. To the cry of 'let it ride', she watches as time after time she wins until she has a huge amount of prize money.
She then spends time painting a small glass panel yellow, when reversed the back shows a VW camper van.

I appear next in a very dark room vacuuming up bird seed from the carpet.
Once my task is complete I leave the room, approach three elevators in row and await one to arrive.

I step in the middle lift when the door opens and descends towards the ground floor. I notice two females in the corner, one of which at first glance was wearing a tight fitting coloured top. Upon closer inspection, she is naked and has her skin painted into clothes.

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Shoot to kill

For what seemed like hours last night, I spent expertly picking off people with a high powered sniper rifle, complete with telescopic sight and an endless supply of bullets.

I was very high up and unseen by my victims as I masterfully eliminated them one by one with a single shot to the head every time.
After a while I was spotted and return fire started whizzing past my head but never close enough to cause me alarm.
I just continued killing until I ran out of people to shoot.

The middle section was taken up with me as an adult in a classroom. It was very unruly and the female teacher had lost control of the lesson.
Running late and looking flustered, Tony a past work colleague, enters the room.
Tony when I last saw him had jet black hair but as he sat down he very evidently was totally bald.
A scream of 'Shut it!' from Tony silenced the disorderly pupils and we got on with our work.

Lastly I'm in hospital laying on top of the bed so that I don't ruffle the covers up. Also on top of the next bed is a male I don't know.
The rest of the ward is devoid of patients, just rows of neatly made beds.

The man is boring me with his idea of using the beds to communicate with each other, his theory being that sound can travel along the beds thus allowing him to talk to me at the other end if the ward. I'm trying my best to ignore him.

I'm saved from my captive theorist by the arrival of a nurse. She is marking out where to stand on the floor for the darts board that is on the wall in a cabinet.
Happy at the prospect of something to do, imagine my disappointment when the nurse opens the cabinet to reveal an eye chart!

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Cowboy bath & custard cream werewolf

A very mixed bag from last night. I'm feeling drained today.

Starting with me standing in the bath dressed as a cowboy shooting my guns into the air. It is dark in the room and before my eyes is the necklace that my wife wears just floating through the air.
It twists and turns and manifests itself into a railway track which then has an old wild west style steam train going around it to the tune of Madonna's 'like a virgin'.

Next my wife, with her necklace, are then assembling a food blender from scratch and proudly complete the task and produce a banana milkshake too.

Finally I'm in my parents bedroom on the first floor looking out into the dark night.
Suddenly a werewolf is standing next to me, he resembles one similar to the old black and white movies used to portray, with a neatly groomed but hairy face.

The werewolf crams five custard cream biscuits into his mouth, hangs on the outside of the window, eats them and falls backwards to the ground. As he goes he pulls part of the brickwork away and I hear a thud as he lands on top of my car.
Looking down I see the hairy beast jump into my car and drive it off into the darkness.

I bet they won't believe that on my Insurance claim!

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Pie munchers & dead cyclist

It starts with me listening to the radio but being able to see the DJ's
There are two but I can only see the small child in headphones who is ridiculing the other DJ about his 'wheels' and him being a stereotypical pimped car driver.

I enter a room laughing at the boys ribbing of the adult and see an empty space devoid of furniture apart from a table in the centre of the wooden floor.
Sat at the table are my friends Chris and Siobhan, both are eating meat pies from a huge mountain of them stacked before them on the table.

I look at Siobhan confused as I know her to be a vegetarian but she seems to be really enjoying them.
Chris points to my feet and upon checking I see that my white trainers are very dirty.
I immediately start to clean them using a well known brand of cream cleaner with three letters that changed its name a few years ago.

Next I am the passenger in a lorry being driven by my friend Kev, who returns for the second night in a row.
He is taking me to his local pub, on the way there an Eastern European man on a bicycle unfortunately gets himself run over by Kev.
I get out to check the male but he is dead. Kev shouts over that we are near the pub and we carry on to our destination.

Once in the pub, Kev goes behind the bar and starts to serve. He hands me a pint of Bitter knowing I don't drink.
Not wishing to offend I drink it.

Monday, 16 April 2012

False arms & Russian roulette

A few appearances from work colleagues last night. Starting with myself and Kev driving a red open topped car.
Kev produces a plastic tube and opens it to release a Chaffinch.

Next I'm wandering totally naked around a hotel looking for the toilet.
I enter a room to find Greg soaking wet from water that's pouring from the ceiling and he frantically attempts to gather his belongings together.

I find the toilet, ignoring his predicament and I'm just about to pee when two unknown men enter, both also naked and tell me I need to get out as the place is flooding. I run outside and see Dean, a supervisor with a large megaphone instructing everyone to evacuate the building.

I'm next a caretaker at a school, I walk out of the school & knock on the front door of a house. To my dismay my ex wife opens the door but then as she looks in horror back at me, she transforms into actress Pauline Quirke.

I run back towards the school and as I do so both my arms start to grow out in front of me becoming twice their normal length. They wave uncontrollably before me, oddly my clothing grows to the same length too.

I see a pier in front of me and run to the end of it to a small hut.
Inside the hut there is a black man with deadlock hair and he hands me a revolver and challenges me to a game of Russian roulette.

As my arms are now back to normal proportions I accept and point the gun at my head and pull the trigger without flinching.
The black man takes the gun and hides behind a curtain. There is a gun shot and a thud.

I open the curtain to see the gun on the floor and through the window, away in the distance is the black man, running off. Cheat!

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Shrunken horse & fridge Badger

On occasions my activities during my time awake find their way into my dreams.
At a friends livery yard yesterday as they put two horses in for the night, transpired into the first part of slumber.

Fairly normal to start as I put the horses in but to save on space I shrink them to fit in the palm of my hand and then place them on a square of artificial grass complete with miniature fencing and miniature stable.

I then notice 4 pint cartons of milk sitting outside in the sun. Opening a fridge to place them inside, I notice it's very full and the only space appears to be the vegetable tray at the bottom.

I pull open the tray to find a Badger inside. Attempting to put the milk inside becomes impossible as the Badger runs up and down the tray preventing me from filling up his bed.

The final part involves me walking onto some kind of military training base.
I go into a room, open a small locker within a bank of many other lockers with a key and remove a tin of pepper spray.
When I shut the locker and step back I notice that the lockers are the exact shape of a map of the British Isles.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Getting away with murder

There was a programme in the late 1970's called Tales of the unexpected. Written and introduced by Roald Dahl. I was starring in one of the shows last night.

In it I worked as a hospital porter and decided to kill a male patient for reasons unknown.
I sprayed him with a paralysing substance rendering him unable to move apart from his eyes.
Blocking his nasal passage and gluing his mouth shut, I placed headphones on him and walked away knowing he would soon suffocate and would be ignored by staff.

I walk into a toilet cubicle to wee and notice soapy water running under the door around my feet.
The door opens and a cleaner moping the floor looks at me unapologetic.
I stop unable to urinate with him watching.

Realising I'm in a deep sleep but at work with my wife I suddenly wake up as I hear there is a burst water main that I'm being asked to attend to.
I open my eyes run at full speed and hit a wall head on!

Tales of the unexpected actually ran from 1979 to 1988.

Friday, 13 April 2012

Time travelling cowboy & cartoon blob

An odd occurrence to start with as I thought I had woken to make some notes during the night as I often do.
I woke again later only to find there was nothing noted down and that I'd dreamt I'd written something.

The next part was a dream as I was a cowboy back in the 1800's and I confidently know that not to be true.
I shot another cowboy and stole his silver mine then transported back to present day to profit from my ill gotten gain.

After financially benefiting from my cascades through time and space I sit and watch various coloured cartoon blobs with faces compete in a race.

Set on a lake, the winner is the first blob to bounce across all the stepping stones without falling in the water.

I nominated a blue blob for a sporting wager who unfortunately fell at the last allowing the yellow blob to triumph.

Maybe I could go back in time and bet on Mr yellow?

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Mermaid & wee catcher

I was along with a group of other unknown people examining a Mermaid.
The poor mythological aquatic creature had become washed up next to a swimming pool in a hotel complex.

As the female / fish lay distraught, my wife was swimming around the pool, popping her head up at various points to look at the Mermaid from different angles.

I'm next side by side walking down a deserted street with Doyle my dads life long friend.
Doyle is moaning that he doesn't like the part of town that he lives in and as we stroll he outlines his plans for moving.

The remainder of my nights brain activity involved me laying in a hospital room needing the toilet.
I hang over my bed so that my head is looking under the bed and see that a small drain pipe is sticking out beneath.
I notice some wee coming out from the pipe and put a plastic pot under it to catch it.
The pot is almost full and the wee keeps coming so I quickly replace it with another empty pot.

Having captured the flow of urine I seek to dispose of it and transfer the wee into an oxygen pump.

I wouldn't want to be around when they tried to use it on someone!
I did wake needing the toilet at that point.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Mr Wiggly & ginger beard snitch

Rather concerning in that I was at the doctors having a cartoon worm inserted into the eye of my penis by a Chinese doctor.
It was explained to me that it was for research purposes, but I was not happy and the worm was smiling!

The middle section of my dream involved me in a supermarket with an assistant heating baked beans for me in a microwave oven.
The oven shorts out and causes a power cut plunging the store into darkness.

When the power comes back on, I'm in my house and the fire alarm is sounding.
My landlord is at the entrance pushing the door bell wondering why it won't work. It's not connected and he leaves.

Finally I'm with my friend Timmy and we meet a Scottish man in the street with an enormous ginger bushy beard.
The man tells us that a girl called Jenny knows all about a murder and holds the key to the culprit to the crime.

We ignore him and wander off only to discover two cars, three bicycles and an elderly female in a huge pile up in the road.
Deciding we in no way wish to get involved in this, we run into an underpass and out of sight.

As we emerge out of the other side, the ginger Scot is there and winks at us as we pass him.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

All star cast killer wasps

Once again I'm a goalkeeper in a street game of football.
This time Wayne Rooney is firing shots at me but I'm saving them all, much to his annoyance.

As I perform aerial acrobatics a wasp starts to buzz around my head. I swat at it but it's joined by more and I'm under attack from hundreds of them.
The game is abandoned as they attack Wayne too, we both run waving our arms at the swarm around our heads and run to a Halfords store.

There is a cycle race going on around the store and Jennifer Lopz is competing. The race is thrown into chaos as the swarm of killer wasps attacks the riders.
I run into Halfords return with some fly spray and start to cover everyone in it.

Leaving the hectic scene of dying wasps and choking contestants, I enter a warehouse with Robert De Niro.
Robert says to a man, 'Get me the special one'.
At the touch of a button the ceiling lowers and a lift hits the floor containing a yellow sports car.
De Niro gets in and drives off followed by a yellow remote controlled mini sports car that has a wagging tail.

The mini car just follows the bigger one and heads off after Robert into the distance without a wasp in sight.

I've never played in goal before.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Is that Pinky & Perky?

I'm in what appears to be a high street of a town, given the amount of shops around me.
Suddenly an armoured tank rolls down the centre of the road and starts to randomly blow people up.

In the insuring panic I run and bump into Normski from work.
I encourage him to take cover but he is pointing ahead of him and saying, 'Look, there's Pinky and Perky'.
I glance up but can only see frightened shoppers attempting to avoid being blown to bits by the crazed tank operatives.

I somehow leave the destructive scene and find myself driving a camper van. I need fuel so manoeuvre it into a supermarket alongside a checkout and refuel.

Arriving at a school meeting that has far more chairs out that people attending, I select a seat out of the gaze of the speaker to avoid having to interact. I'm sat next to a wall and can see into a window to another room.
Inside a party is in full swing with everyone in fancy dress.

I want to join the fun but need an outfit.
Walking out of the meeting I descend some stairs into a basement and find my work locker.
To my annoyance all the lockers have been painted the same colour and no names are on them.

I try my key in doors and luckily open my own on the third attempt.
I then shout in anger as I realise I've left my work clothes at home and will have to complete my shift bare chested.

Pinky and Perky is an animated children's television series first broadcast by the BBC in 1957, revived in 2008 as a CGI animation but were originally puppets.

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Dave Grohl under water nightmare

I genuinely have a fear of being under water, so to be dreaming I was trapped in a vast water filled glass tank was somewhat frightening.

There was various different tunnels with twists and turns and faintly I can hear my wife calling to me, to lead me out of my darkened, watery nightmare.

I can see a light above me cascading into the depths of my wet prison and I franticly paw at the water to ascend towards it and the soothing tone of my wife's voice.
Finally I burst free, thrusting my head out of the water and gasping a lung full of precious oxygen.

As my head sits proud of the water I turn to see my wife and I'm met with Singer / rock legend, Dave Grohl.
I'm shocked that my wife is the lead singer with the Foo Fighters and my amazement is seen reflected in Dave's mirrored sunglasses as he smiles down at me.
I look around at the outside world to see that I am in central London.

The Foo Fighters got their name from the UFOs and various aerial phenomena that were reported by Allied aircraft pilots in World War II, which were known collectively as foo fighter.

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Winston Churchill x1, phone nerd & cannabis house

Watching TV with my wife, I'm informed that the BBC and ITV have swapped channels. Which effectively meant that there are now adverts on BBC but not on ITV.
Watching a history programme, not sure on which channel, there is a barge sailing alone the river Thames in London.
On the barge giving a victory wave is not one but two Winston Churchill's, sitting side by side identical in every detail.
My wife attempts to change the channel but the remote won't work.

Next we enter a video store knowing it to be a front for a hidden cannabis den above the shop.
In the store a very nerdy man is on the phone trying to get a job but is not selling himself very well.
I ask another man if it's ok to go upstairs, a knowing wink from him and we head up.

Upstairs are three very stoned people. One is Vince who I know from work, he is so out of it he can't stand. A small fat little man shakes my hand and the third, who has lots of gadgets attached to him, greets me also.
I see the gadget man has binoculars around his neck and I proceed to show him mine in the time honoured macho comparison Alfa male style.

Finally inside an office complex I have been told a boy has been thrown off an escalator by a foreign male and he is being held in the toilet.
I enter the lavatory to find an Eastern European man dressed in a matching tracksuit with gold chains around his neck.

I ask the man for his mobile phone and he hands me his lighter, I search him but can only find more lighters.
Finally the male pulls a phone from out of a pocket that I'd already searched and smirks at me.

For the record, my binoculars were much bigger.

Friday, 6 April 2012

Street football, traffic cones & Holy elevator

Bit of an odd mix, but nothing new there!

I am a goalkeeper in the street, both goals are on opposite sides of a hill, my side is over the entrance to an underground station and the other to the entrance to a shopping centre.

I get bored as nothing is happening and cross over into the shops only to find it is my old school when I enter.
The teachers are worried as they are £5,000 over spent on their budget.

Not particularly concerned at this I wander back to my goal just in time to dive and save a last minute shot that wins my team the game and a trophy. I'm a hero and carried shoulder high.

Next at my mums house a water leak starts pouring down through the ceiling into the living room. A knock at the door finds a woman that has come to collect her traffic cones that I am selling on e bay.
She gives me £20 and asks for £6 change which is great as I was selling them for £4.
My mum gives her the change and I notice she has a broken ankle. Mum tells me that she fell over her highland terrier. She doesn't have one.
Back in the living room, Rob, who lives in my village has fixed the leak.

Finally I am walking through the street when a very drunk abusive woman starts to shout and is promptly arrested by the police.
I follow them to the police station and watch her get taken to a cell in an elevator.
Also in the elevator is a priest performing mass, I ignore this and push the button to go back up.

As the doors close my dog appears and playfully jumps up at me.
When the doors open again I'm in the street in the middle of a shopping centre.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Off the bus fatty!

I am going to research and see how many of my dreams include buses. Might have some profound meaning, anyway, reference to one further on.

Starting off with a slow drive in my car along a single track country road, I arrive at a train station and board a carriage.
Much to my disgust, two or three people are smoking and I can't get off as the train has started moving.

I am next at my parents house with my dad. A couple with their daughter are looking round with a view to buying it. The man says he will purchase but has to take out a £12,000 loan first. I look at my dad and we both know the man won't be back.

Going into the garden one of the neighbours is throwing mud over into our garden almost hitting the clean white sheets on the washing line. There is also a small dog barking constantly.

Next my wife and I accept a lift from John the farmer in his pickup truck.
As he drives and chats with us it turns into a bus and he starts to pick up passengers along the way.
A very fat woman gets on and walks past John without paying.

John asks her for her fare and she says she isn't paying.
There then follows a very unsightly fight to remove the woman, involving John getting her in a head lock, my wife performing an arm lock and myself inserting my thumb into her lower jaw pressure point until she submits.

As we bundle the obese fair dodger from the bus an irate little bald man approaches and head butts me.

Arriving at work for a meeting, all the top brass are gathered together for a video presentation.
We all hush as the Cartoon Network shows us an array of kids program's.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Al Murray, Will Young & a serial killer

An bizarre random night to say the least, which begins with me collecting a tent from my friend Lou and walking home in the pouring rain, with a torch climbing over statues in the dark.

I arrive at a building and enter to find an empty room with my work colleagues, Matt, Kyle and Adam there.
I explain to Matt that I need to put the tent up to allow it to dry. I do so and Kyle and Adam get inside and cuddle up. At this point they turn into my two cats and start purring.

Next I'm at an Al Murray show with my mate Timmy, we go back stage and find Al and start a three way head smashing on each other with metal trays.
I go into a bathroom and find a mother and daughter cleaning the bath.

The daughter starts to ask me where 10 Rillington Place is. I pretend I don't know but her insistence is such that I just tell her it's in Notting Hill, London.

I then realise my mistake as both her and her mother attend the address and totally clean the house from top to bottom, removing all traces of a murder scene.

Finally along with a group of people, I am in a room with an obese woman laying on the bed in a red thong. We are trying get her off the bed but failing.
In walks singer Will Young, who grabs hold of the thong, pulls it and the fat woman hits the floor with a thud.

10 Rillington Place was the scene for at least 8 murders by serial killer John Christie who hid the bodies, including his wife's, under floorboards in wall cavities and in the garden, between 1943 and 1953.
He was hung at Pentonville Prison on 15th July 1953.

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Bacon rolls & scary apples

I love bacon rolls. I start by being woken by my mum with tea and a bacon roll. Awesome.
She tells me she is off to work and both my sisters are still asleep.

Unable to find them in their room, I discover they are sleeping in a caravan in the garden. I leave them and go to the front door where my work colleague Garath is standing with a rugby ball asking me to play basketball with him.

We walk off along the street only to discover a lorry parked on the pavement forcing us to walk past in the road.
Garath decides to point out the by laws regarding the blocking of footpaths to the driver and I leave him there and get on a bus.

Finding a seat on the bus all passengers are handed a carton of fruit juice for the journey.
The woman sitting next to me starts to totally freak out at the sight of some apples laying loose on the parcel shelf opposite.

I try to ignore her and start to drink my fruit juice which tastes a little bitter. I check the use by date to discover it was out of date in 2000!
I shout this out to the driver and all the other passengers check theirs and all start to protest at him.

The driver angry at this decides to throw everyone off his bus.
I discover Garath is still pointing out Parking laws to a very sorry looking lorry driver.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Saving face

No actual dream as such, but a constant array of different faces presenting to me.

They were just there in front of my eyes, face to face with me and changing.
There was a man with a great big bushy beard, Adolf Hitler and a few that I didn't recognise.

If you can remember the video to Godley and Cremes hit, 'Cry', it was very similar to that but without the music.

A ground breaking video for its time back in 1985 but I saw it a few months ago and it looks very amateurish now. How technology has advanced.

I am however slightly concerned that Adolf Hitler has now been in two of my dreams.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Inferno hands

I really thought I was awake, laying in bed slowly coming around from my deep slumber.
I could feel my hands under the quilt becoming warmer and warmer to the point where they started to burn.

Such was the intense heat that I opened my eyes and held my hands out above the quilt to look at them.
It was at this point that I could see my hands ablaze.

Flames shooting up from my fingers I start to panic and franticly wave them in an attempt to distinguish the inferno.
I wake up and find myself at my mums house.

I open the front door and walk out into the sunshine closing the door behind me I realise I've locked myself out and no one is inside.
Out of a car on my mums driveway exits Franky Knuckles my supervisor from work. He just smiles when I tell him we are locked out.

I run at speed around the corner house that is attached to my mums, into the rear garden and dive, flying through a gap in the fence and land at my mums back door. I enter the unlocked door.

I open the front door to let Knuckles in only to find he is now my dad. He smiles at me and goes into the house.

09 10