Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Comfortably numb

I was on a large boat that was very luxurious and walking around it I was wondering why I was there. 
I opened a door into a bathroom and a man was painting it. He was painting everything, the toilet pan, sink, bath and walls all a deep purple. 

I was next at the doctors because both my hands were numb, tingerling with pins and needles. I had my dog with me. The doctor explained for me to be cured my dog would need to eat 11kgs of food a day. My dog only weighs 11kgs. 

Confused I left the doctors, as I walked out I could hear 'Nights on Broadway' by Candi Staton. 
I woke at this point with pins and needles in my hands. 


Monday, 30 December 2013

Silly games

I had entered a supermarket and walked out the back of the store to a huge walk in freezer. 
I opened the door and it was full of people. I asked a man to find me the manager as I needed to talk to him. 

As the manager approached me, Tom from work turned up from nowhere and interjected, grabbing the manager and taking him away. Tom turned and winked at me as they left. 

I sat down slightly annoyed at what had just happened and noticed I was sitting next to my friend and work colleague Lee -Ann. I gave her a hug and walked out of the store. 

As I left I could hear a song playing, it was 'Silly games', the 1979 song by Janet Kay  


Sunday, 29 December 2013

I walk the line

I was sat in a room with Entertainer Jonathan Ross. He was holding a stack of DVDs and telling me about them. 
People started to enter the room and were complaining that the DVDs belonged to them. 
I looked to Jonathan and he'd turned into Bob from work. 

Next I was on a train with Jerry, one of my supervisors from work. We were sat on a table and I had my blue New York T shirt spread out on the table. I started to peel it off but it was wet and stuck fast. 

As I began peeling it off the train came to a sudden stop and we sat there for ages not moving. 
Then the door opened and our HR manager Sam walked in. 
She told us the train wasn't going anywhere and we had to walk along the train line. 


Saturday, 28 December 2013

Mind control

Really weird in that I was presented with thousands of images flashing consecutively at an insane speed. 
I was barely able to make out an image before it moved onto another. 

It was a combination of flashing lights, colours, faces and animals, all displaying before my eyes. They got faster and faster until I was unable to see them as they became a total blur. 

I woke with no other memory of an epic eleven hours of sleep. 


Friday, 27 December 2013

CIA ticket

After spending some time standing around in a hospitals A&E department, I gathered up papers laying on chairs and left the building with my wife. 

We headed to the underground station where we boarded a train. I placed my pile of papers onto a seat and waited for our stop. 

As the train rolled to a stop at our destination I attempted to again getter up my papers. There were a lot more this time and I struggled to hold them all in my arms. 
As we got off the train and headed for the exit I held my ticket in my fingers. 

Hundreds of people got off the train and we were swept up in a wave of commuters towards the exit. As I reached the exit my ticket slipped from my grasp and blew away. 

My wife told me I was now in trouble as the ticket collectors were all American CIA agents. Worried at this news I managed to hide amongst the crowd and avoid being checked. 

As we made our escape my wife decided to buy some cigarettes from a man on a motorised scooter, despite not being a smoker. 
We approached him and he showed his ID badge as bring a CIA agent! I was busted.  



Thursday, 26 December 2013

Beam work

I was with my wife in a school gym. There was a female teacher who had asked us to collect the gym equipment and bring it into the school. 

Outside the school was a building site and we located a huge metal beam which we picked up and struggled with into the gym. 

The teacher started to shout that when she asked for a beam, that's not what she wanted! 


Wednesday, 25 December 2013


I was dreaming that I was taking photos of our new house in order to send them to my sister. My wife was helping me by suggesting what to photograph. 

As we happily walked around the cottage a huge wasp flew in the room and started circling our heads. 

Much as in real life my wife freaked out and ran away frantically waving her arms around her head. 
I calmly ushered the insect out of the room and closed the door. 

Merry Christmas everyone. 



Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Cat slap

Back on night shiftz for the festive period and not much dreaming as usual. 

As I drifted off I could feel one of my cats was in the room. I descended deeper into my slumber when I was slapped around the face by a feline paw.

I jumped out of my slept to be confronted by a cat free room. I had shut them out and the cats were not there. 


Monday, 23 December 2013

Hospital hoax

I was in a hospital waiting room when a man asked me to pretend to be him when the nurse came round. Without question I agreed. 

The nurse asked me lots of health questions, all of which I guessed the answers too. At the end of the questionare she asked me to sign my name. I signed it Clive Martin. It was at this point that I realised that I had messed up my chance of filling out the form. 

Lastly I was playing football with James from work and a group of others I didn't know. 
The ball was a massive gym exercise ball and was bright pink. James frantically ran around attempting to get the ball but everyone was too fast for him. 

I suggested that he went in goal and as he walked towards the net, the ball smacked him on the back of the head knocking him to the floor. 



Sunday, 22 December 2013

Funny tree

When I first went off to sleep last night, I was watching a tree. It was no ordinary tree, it was laughing loudly as it had a big mouth that opened on its trunk. 

I watched with interest at it for ages, it was heartily chuckling constantly and I carried on watching thinking that at some point it would stop. It didn't. 

Next I saw Stu, one of my supervisors from work. He was just staring at me without speaking. I asked him what was wrong but he remained frozen like a statue with a fixed stare. 

I decided to ignore this and started up a one way conversation with him, talking about work. He still never moved or altered his gaze. In the end I walked away from him leaving him staring at a wall. 


Saturday, 21 December 2013

Changing times

I have nothing but a song from last night, I went to bed earlier than most 8 year olds on a school night and slept the sleep of champions for 11 hours. 

The song, 'The times they are a-changin' from Bob Dylan. A classic from 1964. 

Come gather 'round people 
Wherever you roam 
And admit that the waters 
Around you have grown 
And accept it that soon 
You'll be drenched to the bone 
If your time to you 
Is worth savin' 
Then you better start swimmin' 
Or you'll sink like a stone 
For the times they are a-changin'. 


Friday, 20 December 2013

Emergency table

Sat relaxing at my mums house I'd taken my work boots and socks off. With me was a blonde woman that looked vaguely familiar and a man I didn't know. 

I had arrived at my mums in a works van and it was parked outside in the street. I then heard an emergency call over my radio and all three of us jumped up. A voice said that help was needed in London. 

I took an age to put my socks and boots back on and when we got outside the van was now a table and chairs. We all sat on a chair around the table and I started to drive it. When I say drive, it floated off the ground and moved on its own. 

We got to the underground station and parked the table and ran down the stairs onto the station. We jumped on a train and an old man got on and approached me. He asked if I could pull his trousers up. 

When I looked his trousers were around his ankles. The train jolted and the man fell against the blonde woman and he gave a cheeky wink and smiled at her. 


Thursday, 19 December 2013

Chicken and ashes

I was in an undertakers arranging a funeral. It was a dimly lit room and a small unassuming man was attending to me. 

I suddenly realised that it was lunch time and scooped up paperwork and the ashes of someone that were in a tin and placed them into a plastic storage container. 

I then entered a dining hall were there was a table of cooked chicken. A few people were scattered around on tables including a long completely glass table. 

I grabbed a plate and stood looking at the chicken, a woman came over to serve me. She sliced some chicken and asked me what was in the box I was holding. I replied, 'Dead guy'. 

I then took my chicken and sat at the long glass table. The people also sat there started to shout and became very loud. They all moved along in their seats and I ended up knocked off my chair on the floor. 


Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Sleep pee

After already getting up once in the night for a wee I couldn't believe it when I again needed to go. 
I realised it was part of my dream when I saw Tim, a supervisor from work standing outside the toilet door. 

I went inside the toilet and it was a cubicle like in a public toilet. I stood peeing into the pan when from the wall behind the pan emerged a pair of hands in large rubber gloves. 

The hands started to grab at my testicular area and I recoiled in horror. I ran out of the door, past Tim and I then woke up. 


Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Pyramid food

Once again this week Lorriane from work appears in my dream. This time we were at work and I was attempting to get in by pushing the buzzer but was being ignored. 

I was just about to give up when the door opened and out stepped Lorraine. She shut the door behind her leaving us both unable to get in. 
She then went on about how little work she had done and that she didn't care. 

Next I'm at my mums house but it is extremely old and had stone walks like an old castle. I went into the kitchen and prepared a plate of vegetables. I took baby sweet corn and carrots and arranged them in a huge pyramid like a well known chocolate advert. 

I then walked upstairs and found my older sister arranging her clothes into a wardrobe. I placed the plate of veg into one of the shelves and knocked all of her neatly folded clothes into the floor. 
She didn't look impressed. 


Monday, 16 December 2013


I was struggling carrying a huge tree that was at least twenty feet high. I was in a garden at night and I was carefully stepping around a swimming pool. The tree was in a pot that was the size of an egg cup. 

A door opened to an outbuilding and Lorraine from work appeared. She told me to put the tree in the outbuilding. As I struggled to get through the door she started laughing as I hit the door frame like a dog with a big stick. Time and time again I kept falling backwards as the tree hit the door frame and Lorraine continued laughing at me. 

Lastly I was upstairs in my bedroom and my wife was sat up in bed. I was on the phone to my mobile service provider asking about my account fees. 

I looked down into the garden and saw my dog chasing one of our cats. Alarmed because the cats don't go out and worried that my wife would freak out, I calmly walked downstairs whilst continuing my chat on the phone. 

I opened the back door and called them both in. When I got back to the bedroom I told my wife not to freak and that the cat had got out but was now in. 
She had some kind of reverse reaction and instead of freaking she laughed hysterically. 


Sunday, 15 December 2013

The long and winding road

I spend a lot of time traveling in my dreams. Last night I was driving on a long road that had no Tarmac on it. It was similar to when the road is being resurfaced and the old Tarmac has been removed. 

I looked up about this and apparently to dream that you are driving a vehicle signifies your life's journey and your path in life. 
I couldn't see where I was going and all around was out of focus. Maybe it's going to be foggy? 

I could also hear the 1994 hit, 'Baby I love your way' by Big Mountain as I drove. 


Saturday, 14 December 2013

Fluffy beard

I had parked my car outside of my house and was getting out when my wife jumped in the drivers seat and told me I hadn't parked it correctly. 
I sat in the passenger seat while she moved the car back and forth a few times. 

I stepped out of the car and found that we were now parked in the middle of a shopping centre. 

Walking around the centre a man was painting a shop. 
I approached him and he started talking to me. I couldn't hear what he was saying because I was totally transfixed on his beard. 

It was white and fluffy and resembled a cats fur. I starred at it wondering why it was so white and soft looking. 
My wife grabbed my arm and led me away. 


Friday, 13 December 2013

Razor run

To the background music, The power of love by Frankie goes to Hollywood, I was running bare foot. 
I wasn't sure where I was but the ground was covered in razor blades. 

I glanced down and noticed what I was running on, my brain registered that this should actually hurt. A lot. 

But all that I could hear were the words, 'I'll protect you from the hooded claw, keep the vampires from your door......'


Thursday, 12 December 2013

Disabled trousers

I was on an underground train with my dad and as we approached Becontree station on the district line, I took a small semi circular object from my pocket and placed it on the floor. 

As the train door opened it flashed different colours and started to move off up the platform. We followed it until it reached the stairs where it stopped unable to climb. 

I picked it up and walked to the top of the stairs and into the street. As I reached the exit I pushed a button on top of the object and a huge flash of light blinded us briefly. When I adjusted my eyes everyone was disabled. 

Bus drivers, people walking, everyone had a physical disability. My dad and I were still the same and as we walked up the street everyone starred at us as if we were freaks. I felt very uncomfortable. 

Finally I drove my car right up to a front door of a house and when I got out I had no trousers on. 
I had to climb over the bonet of the car to get in the house. Inside was Kallum from work and he was arguing with his parents because he had bought a prostitutes pimp into the house. 
I tried to calm his parents and say that Kallum was not a bad lad but standing there with no trousers on wasn't convincing them!


Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Angry dish washing

Set in my mum's kitchen with myself and both my sisters, we were all children and my mum was overseeing my siblings washing the dishes.

I walked in to see that they had so much washing up that they had piled the pots and pans to almost ceiling height.  both my sisters looked exhausted and totally sick of their chores.

So it really didn't help matters when I calmly bent down and opened the door to the dishwasher.

Tuesday, 10 December 2013


I was on my way to hospital walking towards the entrance when a horse trotted past me. 
It seemed to be lame and when I looked at its legs, one of them was tied in a knot. Exactly like a piece of string. 

I nexted moved from being outside the hospital to laying on an operating table. I was unable to speak or move but could see all the staff standing around me. 

They were deciding who wanted to take which part of my body as they were going to cut me up into sections!

Lastly I was holding the hand of a small black boy whilst walking up some steps. A group of men walked past us and one of them knocked the boy to the floor. 

I called out to him as he walked off and he stopped and approached us. It was Bimmo from work. He said he was sorry and asked me if I wanted to punch him in the stomach. I declined his offer. 


Monday, 9 December 2013

Under pressure

Dispite a distinct lack of sleep today after my final night shift, I dreamt briefly as I nodded off. 

I had an eminence pressure on my forehead and when I looked upwards a man was pushing my head with his hand. 

I shouted out and opened my eyes with a start. My own hand was resting on my head as I slept! 


Sunday, 8 December 2013


Today's song in my head when I woke was the 1987 hit from Wet Wet Wet, Sweet little mystery. 

The quartet formed at Clydebank High School in ClydebankScotland, in 1982, under the name Vortex Motion.
They changed it to wet wet wet to reflect on the weather in Scotland! 


Saturday, 7 December 2013

Waste of time

A total coma of a sleep today after a night shiftz, waking as often is the case, with just music in my head. 

Today was the 1986 hit, 'Your my favourite waste of time', by Owen Paul. 
I can offer you no more. 


Friday, 6 December 2013

All star event

For some reason I was driving a fire truck into a railway station. My work colleague George was standing by the entrance waving me in. 
I didn't think I was going to get through the gap but George was confidently telling me to keep driving. I hit the gate!

We both walked into the railway station and it turned into the inside of an old house full of antiques. 
We walked to to very top of the house and there was no roof on the house. 

We both starred up at the night sky and it was full of the brightest stars I'd ever seen. 
We stood standing in wonder at the night wonder when an old lady shouted, "Get out of my house!"


Thursday, 5 December 2013

Crush a grape

Another fruit related dream last night. This time I was in the small bedroom at my Nan's old house. It was known as the box room. There was a square wooden raised section in one corner that covered where the stairs came up onto the first floor. 

On top of this was growing a grapevine. The grapes were green and the size of tomatoes. I tried picking them but they were still very hard. 

I was next at my old house in Skegness and as I approached it I was throwing up a black coloured cricket ball and catching it. I walked past my neighbours house and dropped the ball in a large puddle of water. 


Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Rotten fruit

I spent the majority of my dream chasing my guinea pigs around our new house. I couldn't catch them and every time I got close I found a fruit tree. 

The first tree was full of apples. I looked for a nice one to pick but they all had maggot holes in them. 
The next tree was pear, it's fruit was also full of holes. 

Lastly as I'd just about given up trying to catch the pigs, I saw a tree that had purple fruit on it. They were the shape of peppers. I looked closer and they too were full of maggot holes! 


Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Never ending universe

I started off by being sat in my car in a car wash. There was no roof on my car and the car wash wasn't operating. 
As I sat there thinking that I was about to get very wet a young lad with what looked like a false beard appeared. 

The lad started to give me attitude and I sat there hoping the water would come on and drench him but it didn't. 

I was next watching a documentary on TV. Two men had killed a lot of animals and removed various parts of them and were wearing them. They had badger ears stuck on their heads and were sewing tails to their bottoms. It was very disturbing. 

Lastly I was sat on the moon and looking out at the vast universe before me. The stars and planets were incredible to see. 
I was aware that I was in bed asleep and that I was in a dream. I decided to try and wake myself up by jumping into space. 

I dangled my legs over the edge of the moon and looked at the vast blackness before me. The thought went through my mind, 'What if I'm not dreaming?' 


Monday, 2 December 2013

Smelly beating

I had entered a house, I didn't know where it was. Upon entering I immediately saw it was a total mess, it looked like something from one of those shows where they send people in to sort out compulsive horders. 

I walked into a room and saw an old fat man with a beard. He too was dirty and untidy. Although I can't actually remember smelling anything, I knew that he stank. 

I shouted at him that he smelled and because of this I was going to beat him. The man just stood there as I repeatedly punched and kicked him. 
He didn't move or flinch as I hit him as hard as I could. 


Sunday, 1 December 2013

The king of China must die

I was in China of all places, somewhere I've never been. Standing in the street with thousands of people I was watching the king of China delivering a speech. 

People in the crowd were passing things out to the spectators and I couldn't see what they were. I was approached by a man who placed a deflated balloon in my hand. I asked what it was for and he winked at me. 

The person standing next to me said that we were to all blow up the balloons at the same time as it was an assassination attempt on the life of the king. I glanced down at my balloon I held and tried to fathom out how. 

I was next aware that I was laying in bed and thought I was awake. That was until I lifted up the quilt to find the bed full of meatballs! 


Saturday, 30 November 2013

Blow dart

I was in a supermarket and a blind woman asked me to help her find her husband. I took hold of her arm and walked towards a ten pin bowling lane. 
At the lane was her husband and I sat with the woman. She wouldn't let go of my arm. 

I was next visiting my doctor and I met him in a hospital corridor. A man was walking away from us and when the doctor wasn't watching, I used a tube to blow a poison dart at the man. It hit him in the back of the neck and he fell to the floor. 

When the doctor saw this he ran to help him. I then needed the toilet and walked into the gents. 
There were people sat at a table having dinner. I needed the toilet so much I just did it in front of them. 
I woke up needing the toilet. 


Friday, 29 November 2013

A reflection of me

At my mums house I was adult me and my older sister was a child. She was holding my chest board and was heading out of the house. 
I asked her what she was doing and she explained that she was taking it to school. 

I said I would get the chess peices but they were in the loft. I opened the loft hatch and popped my head up. Scanning the roof space I couldn't see anything. Suddenly two cocker spaniel dogs ran at me happily wagging their tails. 

I was next in the street outside a multi storey car park. Hundreds of Asian men were running around inside it fighting. 
A group of them surrounded me and I calmly put them at ease by smiling and chatting to them. 

As I walked away I noticed I had nothing on my feet. As I left, lots of people wearing orange tabards arrived, they all looked very serious. 

I arrived at a small log cabin and it was very untidy. I set about cleaning and tidying up. I caught my reflection in a glass door and it wasn't me. 
I glanced in a mirror and my reflection was my work colleague Paul smiling back at me. 


Thursday, 28 November 2013

I think your crazy

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so special about that place. 

That's what I have this morning, the 2006 hit, 'Crazy' from Gnarls Barkley. 
I was woken by an alarm again which clearly interferes with any dream I may have been having. 


Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Shotgun dilemma

I was to start with standing next to a shed with the three members of the show, Top Gear. No one was speaking but it was excepted that I needed to go inside the shed. All three gave encouraging looks at me and the shed. 

I turned the handle to the door and slowly pushed it open and tentivley peered inside. I glanced back at the Top Gear presenters and they faded and vanished before my eyes. 
I turned my attention back to the shed and it too had vanished. 

I was next in an open area that was totally white. I couldn't tell if it was outside or in as I just seemed to be surrounded by nothing. 
As I starred around attempting to focus on something, a short man with a beard appeared pointing a shotgun at me. 

He simply said, "Arm or leg, it's up to you?" Alarmed by the prospect of being shot and that I was given a choice where I was shot, I decided to take neither option. I ran off. 


Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Polite Maximus

A really brief dream last night, in that it took place just before waking up and was cut short by my wife's alarm call. 

I'd gone into see Pat one of my supervisors at work and taken a guy into his department for him to process. 
Walking up to Pat's desk I greeted him with a big smile and a hello. 

I then said, "I'd like to introduce this man to you, isn't it a lovely day".
In turn my politeness made Pat happy and the guy I'd taken in too. 

I stood there engaging in happy banter when I heard a strange loud voice filling the room. The three of us all stopped and looked around confused. 
I woke at this point to the sound of a minion from the film Despicable me 2. 


Monday, 25 November 2013

Lost in Barking

I was wandering around the Essex town of Barking. It was night time but the shops were all open. Having grown up in Barking and Dagenham, I was confident I knew my way around. 

I needed to go to the Boots store and headed off in that direction. I became very upset when the store wasn't where I remembered it. 
In fact nothing was where it used to be and I didn't recognise anything. 

I kept walking and ended up out of the town centre through a housing estate. 
Ahead of me I saw a small scruffy mongrel dog. He wagged his tail and ran to a front door of a house. 

I knocked on the door and a female opened it. Clearly the dog was hers as it was very happy to see her.  She thanked me and as I walked away I could see her laughing at me. 

I looked down at my attire and saw that I was wearing my tiger onesie. 
I smiled to myself and walked off into the darkness. 


Sunday, 24 November 2013

Stately mess

I started off by holding a video camera. I switched it on to see what was recorded on it and found it was my step Son Michael in a harbour in Italy. He wasn't an adult but had reverted to about 10 years old. 

I watched as he jumped on a skateboard and rolled off the edge of the harbour onto a boat. He continued skating across from boat to boat to angry shouts from the owners. 

Police serins could be heard approaching and Michael jumped off a yacht back onto dry land, flipped the board with his foot catching it and calmly walked away as the police arrived. 

I was lastly in a grand stately house sitting watching TV. The door opened and a bunch of tourists entered. They looked unsure if they should be there as they saw me with my feet on a table. 

I told them to carry on through the house and as I looked up at the ceiling I could see water dripping down and a huge bubble was forming full of water. 
I ran upstairs to find the source of the leak. 

I entered a child's play room and started to pull back the carpet. The floor was wet but I couldn't see the leak. 
Suddenly the door opened and two men dressed in white military uniforms entered. They both had a row of medels on their chest. 

Following behind them were hundreds of people and two children who were both screaming. One of the men pleaded with me, "Help us, stop these children screaming!"

I decided the best course of action was for me to leave. I ran outside where it was sunny and warm. A posh looking lady called my name and handed me 28p in change. 
She said, "Go to the co op and get Yvonne out of the car park". 
I then woke up. 


Saturday, 23 November 2013

Suburban trenches

With a house move in less than a weeks time I'm not surprised that thoughts of it have influenced my dreams. 

I was busy packing and cleaning our current house ready to hand it back to the landlord when my wife came in. 
She told me she had tidied the garden which concerned me as she doesn't do gardening. 

I looked out of the window to see that the normally immaculate front lawn had been dug into elaborate trenches. It looked like a scene from the First World War. 

Glancing at my wife who had a massive smile on her face, clearly proud of her achievements, I was opened mouthed and in shock. 
I picked up a shovel and started to walk outside wondering how I was going to cover it up. 


Friday, 22 November 2013


A very short sleep after my last night shift and I woke thinking I'd slept all day only to be disappointed with just over four hours. 

Wasn't aware that I had been dreaming until I realised I could hear tap dancing coming from the end of the bed. 
When I looked down I saw my feet in black leather shoes. 

As I'm not in the habit of wearing shoes to bed, I'm putting it down as a dream. 


Thursday, 21 November 2013

A toast to you

Very brief but odd encounter today with work colleague Bimmo taking the staring role. 

He was making himself some toast in a small room that I had the impression was on an upper floor. 
Bimmo was using the grill section within an oven and as one side of his toast became browned, a naked female came into the room. 

The woman was bleeding from a head wound and instead of helping her, Bimmo took a slice of toast from under the grill and held it at the woman's head so that her blood dripped onto the bread. 

He then replaced the bread under the grill and watched it toast the blood under the heat. As he watched he licked his lips in anticipation. 
I fortunately woke before he did anything else. 


Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Drummer boy

I sat on a stool with a full set of drums before me, drumsticks in my hands ready to play. 

I clicked the sticks together and mouthed, one two, one two three four. 
I crashed down on the drumskins and out came.........

Drip, drip, drop
Little April showers?

I had to look it up, and the tune is from the 1942 Walt Disney film Bambi. 


Tuesday, 19 November 2013

That don't impress me

Weird that after my first night shiftz, I often wake up after a solid sleep with nothing more than a song playing on a loop in my head. 

Today it's the 1998 hit, 'That don't impress me much' from Shania Twain. 

Okay, so you're a rocket scientist! 


Monday, 18 November 2013

Special D CID

I was with an old man and his wife, the man had been the victim of a crime and I was trying to help him. 
I decided to help out by writing down what had happened and started by asking the man his name and age. 

The man was called Judd and he was 89 years old. As I started to write this my pen ran out. I took out another pen which had purple ink. 
As I again wrote the mans story, the ink started to spread and run into the paper making it totally purple. 

As I screwed up the paper in annoyance the mans wife said, "In the Japanesse cities, only people who live there are allowed into the city at night".  
I glanced a quizzical look at the man who returned an equally puzzled look at me. 

Suddenly the door opened and in walked a cop from CID to investigate the crime. I recognised the cop as work colleague Daniel who I call Special D. 
Special D was dressed in tight black leather trousers and a grey and black coloured quilted style jumper. 

Under his arm he held a clipboard which he looked at as he spoke. "I want a full forensic sweep of this room and I have taken this as evidence".  He held up a tiny light bulb that he had in his pocket. 

I looked around to see who he was actually talking too but he was alone. When I got a better look at his clipboard I saw that there was a blank page on it. 


Sunday, 17 November 2013

French cauliflower

I was working in a large supermarket and appeared to be on the vegetable isle. 
The boss was following me around keeping an eye on what I was doing. 

I quickened my pace and rounded a corner into another isle and grabbed a cauliflower. Before the boss could catch up I had started running and reaching the end of the isle, I vanished into thin air. 

I re appeared on a caravan site in France. As I started to wander in and out of the caravans, the occupants, some of which were seated on deck chairs outside, eyed me suspiciously. 

I took a knife out of my pocket and started to cut at the cauliflower I was still carrying. 
After a while I stopped at a little caravan and planted the cauli in the ground like they were flowers and walked off. 

Lastly I was playing street football with a bunch of other kids. I was a child too and I was in goal. 
There was a lot kicking of the ball back and forth but no one was really any good and we all got very bored. 

Everyone stopped playing and I saw my chance and smashed the ball into the other goal. My running around waving my arms in the air victoriously, was not well received. 


Saturday, 16 November 2013

Gardens, eggs and custard creams

A combination of random dreams from last night as I slept soundly. 
In the first I was a judge in a garden competition and there were four entrants left. 

I noticed that one of the semi finalists was the daughter of Ann who I know from work, who was there supporting her daughter.  Unfortunately her daughter was confused and had entered thinking it was a swimming competition. 

I quickly dismissed two gardens for not having a path and told Ann that her daughter had as good as won. I approached the only garden left in the competition shaking my head. They were very confused. 

I was next in a pub stood on the bar and needed to get ready for work. I had one hour. As I looked down I could see friends and people from work sat at tables. 
I noticed Jimbo unwrapping sweets that were the shape and size of chicken eggs. 
Suki was reading a newspaper and without looking up he said, "Hook a brother up man, give me a chicken sweet". 

I then saw Mary who reminded me I needed to go to work, it was 16.25 and I started at 17.00. 
I needed a wash and so pulled a shower curtain across the bar to give myself privacy. 

Deciding that I really have no time to wash and should get to work, I pull back the shower curtain and find I am out in the street. 
I jump from the bar and start running through the streets. Reaching a covered walkway I see an old fashioned horse drawn cart. 

I hear music and laughter, crowds of people are gathering around the cart. From within the cart a mans voice can be heard. The first thing I see coming from the cart is the mans big nose. 
As he gets further out, the extent of his nose becomes apparent. It's at least 12 feet long. 

Everyone looks at him in amazement as he finally disembarks from the cart. The only other feature visible of the man is his face, the rest of him is a giant Custard Cream biscuit, complete with arms and legs. 
In time with the music the giant biscuit starts to dance. 

Just as I woke up I thought my wife was snoring and so nudged her and asked her to stop. 
It was infact the other way around and my very surprised but awake wife was nudged from me still sleeping! 


Friday, 15 November 2013

If the cap fits

I was in the street outside my mums house and performing some car maintenance. This is how I knew it was a dream as I know nothing about cars. 

With the bonnet up I was tinkering and fine tuning my car when my mums old neighbour David came out to me. He looked over my car and told me that the headlight bulb wasn't working and promptly left. 

I went inside mums house but found myself inside a horse stable. My wife was there and I told her about the headlight bulb. 
There was a knock on the door and the postman handed me two parcels wrapped in brown paper. They were the shape of baseball caps and addressed to my wife. 


Thursday, 14 November 2013

Strawberry fields

Really nothing to my dream last night other than I was in a massive field surrounded by strawberries. 

As I looked around the field of soft red fruit I started coughing. Uncontrollably and it forced me out of my sleep and I sat upright still coughing!  


Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Number 41

I started off my being sat in an original 1960's mini, it was blue. I was waiting for my wife who was getting some food from KFC. 

Due to parking restrictions I had to keep moving and after what seemed like an age to be ordering some chicken, I parked outside and walked in. 
There was no other customers than my wife and the two staff members were unable to get the order right. 
I looked at my wife and told her we'll go elsewhere. 

We were next both inside a car, I'm unsure if it was the blue mini. Sat in a residential new build of houses, they all looked the same. 
Across from where we were parked was a house with a large number 41 on the door. 

I explained to my wife that the house, unassuming as it appeared was in fact a museum. A shrine to some historical event that had happened in the areas past. 

Not thinking that my wife was all that interested in what I was telling her, I stopped talking and glanced over at her to see that she was sound asleep. 
I woke up at this point and my wife was sound asleep next to me in bed. 


Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Return of the 70's

For the second time in a week my good friend Matt appears in my dream. 
Last night we were in pub and hidden in an upstairs room Matt found a time machine made from a child's activity toy. 

We knew it was a time machine as someone had written 'Time Machine' on the toy in felt pen. 
Sceptical that it would work and was just a joke, I entered 1970 onto the clock. 

I pushed a button and felt a strange pulsating feeling come over my entire body and I felt slightly sick. We both looked at each other quizzical as to what just happened. 

We rushed to the window and looking out I found we were in my Nan's old house where I spent most of my childhood in the 70's. 

Outside in the street were old Ford Capris and Ford Cortinas each full of people wearing flared trousers, wide collars and with huge hair. And they were all smoking. 

Matt looked at me and said, "I don't like it, let's go back". Grabbing hold of the toy he frantically pushed buttons to no avail. We were stuck in 1970! 

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