Thursday, 28 February 2013

Mind control & blood river

A real mixed bag of events last night, starting off with me looking down at a clear glasses walled room that contained another me.
I was a prisoner of this see through box and there appeared no escape. That was until as the onlooker I was able to shoot red laser beams from my eyes and open a door, thus aiding my escape.

I next entered my mums house walking past a group of people who were collecting for charity, I engaged them in polite conversation to avoid giving them any money.
Inside the house were both my parents and my younger sister and a big white dog. My mum called out, "Ben", my old Lurcher came happily wagging his tail and jumped up at me.

I next found myself walking over a bridge across a river, the river was flooded and lapping at my feet as I crossed over the bridge.
I reached the other side and some steps down to the underground, as I descended the stairs I saw that it was flooded.
As I reached knee height in water, I saw that the water was blood red and full of dead bodies.
I ran back up the the bridge and saw a police officer who told me, "You saw nothing".

Finally I had gone to work but was in the seaside town of Skegness along with Ryan E and we were both wondering why we were so far away from home.
My main concern was that we were working a night shift and that I'd be too tired to drive home the following morning.
As we started work I realised we were actually in Dagenham in Essex which is just as far away from home.

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Send in the dogs

Firstly when I thought I was making notes during the night, I wasn't! As there is nothing this morning although I have a clear memory of writing them.
I was in a small room along with an unknown elderly man and actor Robert Carlyle.
There had been some kind of fight as the old man had a bread knife sticking out of his eye, but with the handle inside his head with the blade protruding out.

Robert was laying dead on the floor and the old man was acting normal despite his obvious facial attachment.
Robert being the superb actor that he is had fooled us by pretending to be dead and suddenly jumped up and started to strangle me.
My gargled shouts were heard from outside as a police dog was sent in to help me. A black Alsatian pulled Robert to the floor and pinned him down followed by a Jack Russell that leaped into the bigger dogs back and started barking at Robert.

I was next in the seaside town of Skegness in Lincolnshire. In my old flat there I was with my wife and neighbour Janice. Janice had made us breakfast and we were about to eat when we noticed that my wife had vanished. The telephone rang and it was my younger sister, I asked her if she had seen my wife and she said that she was with her in Eastbourne.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Lofty experience

Not sure what relevance lofts have in my life but I have dreamt of them often. Or attics, dependant on your geographical location in the World.
My wife asked me to pop up into the loft and find her paints and any other pictures to replace the framed pictures on the bedroom wall.

I climbed the ladder to the loft and observed as she approached one of the pictures.
In her hand was a claw hammer and I watched as she smashed the glass and frame of the picture.
I couldn't believe she had done that as glass was everywhere and all I could think of was how to get it cleared up.

I rummaged in the loft unable to find anything other than empty boxes.
When I descended the ladder I found myself at the front door to my mums house. I moved outside to find a blanket of snow over the garden.
A fat boy with dark permed hair walked past in the street and threw a snowball at me.
I walked over to the garden perimeter armed with a handful of snow and smashed it into his face knocking him to the floor.
Bit harsh but I think he learnt his lesson.

Monday, 25 February 2013

Not just any speakers....

I had entered a Marks and Spencer store carrying a set of stereo speakers.
I was fairly surprised to find that my cousin Dawn was behind the customer service desk.

I explained to Dawn that the speakers didn't work and I wanted an exchange which she wouldn't normally agree to but as I was family she obliged.
Outside the shop I saw my wife and we both stood next to a tree.

I lit a cigarette and as we stood chatting I noticed a few miniature sticks of dynamite strapped to the tree. They were no bigger than a matchstick.
I started to blow smoke onto them and started laughing. My wife wasn't so happy and ran off fearing they would explode.

Lastly I was walking out of the drive to my house and the wheelie bins were in the way. I went to move them and notice that on top of one bin was a box of cakes and a box containing two tea mugs.
I decided as no one was around I'd take them and proceeded to push a cake into my mouth.

This coincided with my neighbours walking out of the drive and giving me a look of horror that I was eating the cakes they had thrown out!

Sunday, 24 February 2013

Domestic attitude

Seated around a long table, there must have been around 100 others and I appeared to know everyone but couldn't actually recognise them.
We were all eating Chinese takeaway and it was a very loud and happy party.

After having my fill I left the table and walked into a kitchen were I found a group of women washing up all the plates from the meal.
I only recognised one as my wife's friend Lorna. I started to help out with washing the dishes but Lorna grabbed hold of my arms and pulled we away from the sink shouting, "No, that's women's work!"

I was next appearing in a TV advert but I'm not sure what it was for or even why I was there. Amongst the group of men I was with, was a very arrogant and outspoken skinny man who was annoying everyone.
The director shouted out, "Cut!" And the skinny man screamed out in anger, "I'm an advanced solicitor for gods sake!"

Lastly I was at my mums house in my bedroom but it was my mums room with my things in it. The room was a complete mess and I was having a panic attack at the untidy state of it.
My mum popped her head around the door as I was franticly hoovering and asked if she could borrow the photos of me when I took a trip to France as a child.
Despite the mess I was able to locate the photos from under the bed which were organised into alphabetical order in a shoe box.

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Bus time travel

To begin I was in a car, I was driving, my wife was front seat passenger and my mum was in the back.
I attempted to negotiate a roundabout but it was very icy and the wheels were spinning. My wife encouraged me to drive as fast as I could which resulted in us skidding off the road, but rather conveniently into a car park.

Exiting the car we noticed my mum had vanished but we chose to ignore this. As we left the car park a young well dressed woman seemed to think we were working there as attendants and handed over £10 to pay for her parking.
We looked at each other and smiled thinking it was easy money but my wife handed the cash back to her and we walked off, leaving the woman confused.

I was next alone walking in a lovely village and I noticed another young female wandering along the road. She asked me if I knew the area as she was lost. I took her to the local shop and left her there with the shop owner.

Finally I was a black Jamaican man in London. I was a bus driver and I arrived at the depot to start work. As I stepped into the depot I was transported back in time.
I walked up to an old Red bus and there was a conductor waiting for me, all the passengers on the bus were asleep.

I was greeted by the conductor who sat in the cab with me as I started driving. He looked at me and asked why I was wearing my seatbelt as it wasn't required by law.
I asked as to what year it was and was informed it was 1973.

Oddly it was 1973 when a clause in the Conservative administration’s Road Traffic Bill concerning seat belts was introduced at Report stage in the Lords. The Bill was dropped on the dissolution of Parliament in 1974.

It wasn't until 1983 that it became law in the UK to wear a seatbelt in the front seats and not until 1991 was it compulsory to wear them as rear passengers.

Friday, 22 February 2013

Porn mags & love hearts

I was at the entrance to the London Underground station, Becontree in Essex with a Sikh man.
We didn't have tickets and needed to get past the staff at the barrier. The Sikh man grabbed a handful of newspapers and magazines and two packets of Love Heart sweets from the little shop in the entrance.

He dropped a few coins on the counter, popped the sweets into my pocket, took hold of my arm and told me to walk onto the platform.
Once on the platform I was given some of the magazines and the Sikh man wandered off. I looked through the collection of glossy publications to find that they were all porn mags and that everyone on the platform was giving me disapproving looks.

I found myself in my mums bathroom, but how it was when I was a child. In the shower I was trying to wash my hair but the shampoo I was applying wouldn't lather up. I was talking to an imaginary friend, having a conversation about it when I discovered I was using conditioner instead of shampoo!

Finally I was interviewing three people for a job at my place of work. I had set them a task first and wouldn't let them progress any further if they failed it.
The test was to look at three objects and tell me which was the odd one out.
I'd made up bizarre connections with the objects and only one girl got through by guessing.

I took the successful candidate to the canteen who immediately told me she was going shopping for new shoes and there was nothing I could do about it.
There was, because I sacked her. Unlucky.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Tank commander

It is said that events and people in your waking hours can affect your dreams and I for one am a strong believer in this.

However I can't remember driving a full sized armoured tank at any point during yesterday and I'm struggling to recall actually ever being close to one ever.

Despite my lack of tank experience, I was last night expertly manoeuvring one around a field. Whilst I was driving it I could hear the song, 'Roll away the Stone', the superb 1973 hit from Mott the Hoople.

Won't you roll away the stone
Why be cold and so alone?
Won't you roll away the stone
Don't you let it die

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Jimbo's sugar rush

A couple of appearances from people from work in last night’s slumber. Starting off I was in the rear garden of a house with an old lady who despite having the house, lived in a caravan in the garden without any heat or lighting.
The woman was showing me around all of the out building & her impressive set up for home wine making.  There was every piece of equipment that you could ever need & as I watched her bottle & cork some wine, the old lady turned into my work colleague James B.  He proudly handed me a crystal clear bottle of wine. I turned & gave it to my wife who had appeared by my side without me noticing.  She smiled at me.

I was next on a Royal Navy battle ship that was running a mock air attack, it was extremely realistic & I was one of the casualties that had a broken arm.  I was taken to the medical room & was met by two male nurses, one of which was very camp & he skipped & danced into the room. The camp nurse asked me which cast I wanted on my arm, the choices being army camouflage or pink.  Concerned that my arm was going into plaster when it wasn’t broken I ran out of the room.

Lastly I was sat at a small table which was placed under a set of stairs; on the stairs were my wife & one of our supervisors called Jimbo.
I was with another person on the table who I initially thought was James B again but when I looked at him it was another Jimbo.  I could then hear stair Jimbo saying to my wife, “Have you seen Jimbo?” My wife pointed at us on the table & both Jimbo’s looked at each other & laughed.

I picked up a little tube like sachet of sugar & held it next to table Jimbo’s open chuckling mouth; squeezing one end, the result was that it popped open exploding sugar into Jimbo’s mouth.
Such was the force of the sugar that it blew a hole straight out of the back of his head, both Jimbo’s continued to laugh at this thinking it was the funniest thing they had ever seen.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

All star Pensioner

During the 1960's it was a popular past time for Mods and Rockers to have a bit of a dust up on the beaches of seaside towns.
In a twist to that my dream started with some 1950's Teddy boys fighting with aliens on a sandy coast. The aliens had long robes on and an abnormally large head with massive eyes. To be fair they were getting a bit of a pasting.

I was an onlooker to this odd seaside occurrence along with my mum. We stood there watching without making comment. I didn't speak until I noticed that my mum was wearing a white pair of classic Converse all star trainers.

Next I was in my aunt Janet's house but she wasn't there. I had sold raffle tickets for a cash prize and Chris Boother from work had won but I couldn't find him.
I entered the living room and found that I was in a prison.
Sitting on the sofa was my wife, my dad and Chris. I told Chris that he had won £10 pounds and he looked disappointed.
The door opened and in walked my wife's friend Judy. Judy's hair was huge, it stood about 5 foot high but no one even noticed it!

Lastly I had arrived for work as a bus driver in London. I was going to drive one of the traditional old London red buses but it was sat at a depot as it wouldn't start.
While it was being repaired I waited at the bus stop along with other passengers and joined in their moans about the bus being late not telling them who I was.

Monday, 18 February 2013

Flying Doctor

Last night all began with me on my way to work for some training. I was on a section of the A47 somewhere between Leicester and Peterborough.
On the opposite carriageway I saw a huge procession of vehicles and stopped to watch. Hundreds of police, army and helicopters rushed passed all protecting a blacked out limo that contained the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
They passed and I carried on into work to find I'd missed the training!

I next found myself asleep in my childhood bedroom. Waking I could hear a noise from near to the window. As I approached I saw a gap between the floor and wall just under the window.
I put my hand in and pulled out 3 very sleepy looking baby hedgehogs. They just stared at me until I put them back.

I was then outside a front door of a flat in a communal entrance. On the floor were a set of plastic washing up bowls that I set within each other in size order.
I then decided to take them and put them into the back of a white van.
Leaving the car park for the flats a barrier opened and a BMW car drove out without anyone in it. I followed in the van and watched it crash into a bus.

Lastly I was on the rooftop of a shop in a high street somewhere with lots of people and a small boy was close to the edge. It was wet and slippery and so I warned him to stay away.
Then Jess from work appeared and waved her arms causing a mini tornado sweeping up everyone on the roof and flying us all through the air.
We landed on the roof of a house on an island causing all the tiles to fall off.

Jess then explained that we had to stay there until the morning but the house was not quite finished.
There were windows missing, no electrics and no toilets! I walked into a bathroom and Jess followed in and said to me, "Can you give me a diagnosis for this?"
With that she pulled up her top to reveal a rash on her stomach.
When I started talking I had a woman's voice and had turned into a female Doctor.
I explained I knew what it was but couldn't remember the name of it.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Ghost dog

Proof that sounds can penetrate the mind and influence your dream with an experiment conducted by my wife.
When I say experiment, prank would better explain it as she thought it entertaining to play some ghostly sounds on her phone when I fell asleep.

I was creeping around the side of a VW camper van where an unsuspecting man was hiding. In my hand was a pistol and I was going to kill him.
As I reached the back of the van I could hear a dog howling and the man looked in my direction startled by the sound.
I pointed my pistol and fired a shot.
Not sure what happened next as I temporarily woke to find my wife giggling whilst playing ghostly sounds. My brain had interpreted them as a dog howling.

Back to sleep and I was walking across a bridge suspended over a water treatment plant. It was dark and the water was very smelly.
As I stepped off the bridge onto the street I saw an old lady with a small child. The woman had let go of the child and stumbled backwards falling into the road.
I went over to her and started to perform basic first aid as the child sat and happily played on the pavement.

Lastly I was renovating an old building that had no windows in it and was damp and very untidy.
I cycled away from it, returning a few minutes later to see that smoke was coming out of the roof. I could see my older sister running from the building towards me.
Just as she did this a huge flood of water erupted from behind the building and started chasing her as she ran towards me.

I started to run down a small hill towards her but the water was so fast that it engulfed the street. I ran back to the road and grabbed my bike. As I looked behind me my sister had escaped and was now riding a bike too.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Red box

I was initially travelling to New York with my wife and we were queuing to get onto the plane.
As we entered from the steps we were in a cinema. We were ushered to the very front seats but noticed there was no screen just a wall.

Next I was in a restaurants kitchen preparing food. There was a guy who was my brother, which is odd as I don't have one. We started to argue and ended up face to face and shouting. It was at this point I saw that he was Pipi from work.
I left the kitchen confused.

Finally along with my wife again, we were in a post office and she wanted to post an empty box somewhere. Thinking it would be free as it was empty she was a little upset when she was charged £11.99 for postage and packing! She paid for it on a credit card.

Leaving the post office we went into the local shop where the shop keeper showed us lots of different boxes that she said we could have had for free.
I could see my wife was annoyed at this so I squeezed myself into a red storage box and started to drive it.

Both shopkeeper and wife looked on in bemusement as I set off down the street gliding across the floor in my red box.

Friday, 15 February 2013


I have woken up today possessed with the song, 'Don't stop moving' by former annoying teen band S Club 7.

I think I may have been subconsciously infected by the song back in 2001 when it was released and it has laid dormant until it was able to escape from the deeper recesses of my mind. Using the advantage of my sleeping brain, it has erased all other information and I currently have it spreading like a virus.

Don't stop,
never give up
hold your head high
and reach the top
Let the world see
what you have got
Bring it all back to you

Send help!

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Corner shop sorrow

In my childhood bedroom at my mums house I found my grandad in my bed. He was frail looking as I remembered him when I was a teenager.
Going downstairs into the kitchen I found my wife cooking a huge fried breakfast.
Looking at the sink, it was piled high with dirty dishes and cups.

My wife handed me a plate containing a full English breakfast and I took it upstairs for my grandad.
I happily went into the room to see him Opening the door the smile dropped from my face as I was greeted with an empty bed.

I was then watching my work colleagues Claire and her partner Danny as they walked towards a closed down corner shop on a small housing estate.
They were intending to buy it and retire from work.
Inside the shop was one of our supervisors Jerry who was sadly packing up the shop contents.

Jerry had retired and sold up and he was tearfully reminiscing on past times.
Claire wasn't interested in what he was saying and tried to rush him out so she could take over.
Like the end of a sad movie, we watched as Jerry walked off into the sunset with his head hung low.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Boy in the stripped pyjamas.

I remember when, I remember
I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.

That's the song in my head today, a hit for Gnarls Barkley called 'I think your crazy'.
The visual aspect involved a small boy about 8 years of age in his stripped pyjamas.

The boy was in a house but it was completely devoid of any furniture and he looked sad that there was nothing to play with.
Wandering from empty room to empty room, the lad grew ever saddened.

He walked back into the living room that had been previously empty and this time it had a white leather sofa in the middle of the room.
The boy climbed onto it and some how managed to punch himself in the face.
He sat and cried.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Always a woman

No I didn't dream about cross dressing, being a woman or anything remotely similar.
My first sleep after a night shift has resulted in the usual baron space within my head after a comatose state this morning.

The only thing I have is the constant playing over in my head of the fantastic song, 'She's Always a Woman', the original version sung by Billy Joel in 1977.

Amazingly it only reached number 17 in the charts back in the day when the charts actually meant Something.

Monday, 11 February 2013

Child snatcher

Last night I was on some kind of chat service on the internet when I was sent a video message by a woman in police uniform. She accidentally showed her badge number and I reported her to the police for abusing her position.

I was asked to attend the police station and met with the Chief Inspector and was confused when I saw my work colleague Dani sitting in the room too.
The chief inspector explained that Dani was pretending to be a police woman on line and he was in a lot of trouble.
Dani glared at me and called me a grass.

I was next being transported by boat from an island back to England by a fat man and his equally fat wife, oddly I also had three children.
Stopping off at a small island on the way I relax while the overweight couple take my children for a walk. I watch as they all get on the boat and leave me stuck alone on the island.

For some reason I am only wearing a dressing gown and start to swim after the boat. I am swimming for a week when I notice I am in shallow water in the streets where I work. I stand up and see my friend Harry who is conveniently dressed as a policeman.
Explaining to him about what has happened he seems uninterested and asks me if I can fix his bedroom door as it has fallen off!

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Overtime cheat

A very welcome visit from my dearly departed Dad and Nan last night.
Firstly I was sitting in my mums living room watching TV with my dad, something we both used to enjoy greatly.
My dad decided he wanted to go to bed and rather sweetly my dog curled up in his bed at his feet and both slept soundly.

I was next at work and had been trusted to submit everyone's overtime sheets. I went through all of them and deducted a few hours off of each person, adding them onto my own.
Then I started to go through all the cupboards and draws in search of things to steal and sell on for profit.
I walked through the rear car park and saw Mark who is affectionately known as the Vicar, in a bright red shirt and commented to him how nice it looked in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Lastly I was at my Nan's house, she was sitting at a table playing Monopoly with a fat lad that I didn't know. The fat boy was trying to find some money to play with and so I gave him a handful of coins.

I then looked out of the window and the sun was reflecting in such a way that it created a hole in the clear blue sky. I called out for them to have a look and my nan and my wife appeared. Both my wife and myself then started to point out to each other faces in the clouds.
The fat lad remained at the table drinking a cup of tea.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Magic cash dispenser

A first appearance in one of my dreams for friend and work colleague Suki last night.
We were both standing next to a cash dispenser and I was trying to show Suki how to extract money from it without using his card.
I held up my hand in the direction of the ATM and a bolt of blue lightening shot from my finger tips hitting the machine.
As a result, wads of cash popped out and I pocketed it. Vastly impressed at this Suki tried the same but couldn't get the blue flash from his hand.
I did it for him but before the cash came out he put his debt card in and entered his PIN number.
He walked away laughing, "Free cash".

I was next in the toilet of a hotel and I went to use the urinal only to find a guy sitting in one taking a dump! I left and went into the lobby where the hotel doorman was telling someone they couldn't come in. When I looked it was the same guy that I'd seen in the toilet.

I tried to ignore what was going on until the doorman shouted, "Stop thief!"
Running out to help I saw that the urinal man had stolen the doorman's hat. I grabbed hold of the guys wrist and expertly put him into an arm lock.

As I held him waiting for the police, one of his friends approached me and put his face right next to mine.
He said, "Do you know who he is? You better let go now".
Contemplating his statement for a second I pulled back my head and head butted him as hard as I could, knocking him to the floor.

Friday, 8 February 2013

Inflatable testicles

I was more of an observer than a participant in all of last nights oddities.
Starting off I was in the home of a divorcing couple and the woman was shouting at her estranged husband to get out.
There were no lights on in the house and so the man was franticly grabbing items and was eventually standing in the street shouting and crying.
Amongst the items he had salvaged was the fridge and he yelled at the top of his voice that he needed a taxi. It started to rain.
The wife entered the darkened living room and saw a blood covered female laying on the sofa. Screaming the woman opened her eyes.

Next a mad old lady dressed all in black was shouting aggressively at everyone around a hotel complex.
No idea what her problem was but she was frightening small children and adults alike. Approaching the pool there was a man in a Borat style green Mankini. Running and shouting at the man the old lady shocked him into falling backwards into the swimming pool.
As he hit the water his testicles inflated like giant air bags the size of beach balls enabling him to float.

It was at this point that I interjected and told the old lady to calm down and stop being so aggressive. Another man close by was agreeing but he then started to make a bizarre noise like a gentle gurgle.
I started to laugh at him and as I did so I awoke to the same sound of my wife emitting a little lady snore.

Thursday, 7 February 2013

I dream a dream

Oddly for the second time this week I have been dreaming that I'm telling someone about the dream I've just had.
The person I was telling is unidentified, as in I could hear myself talking to them but couldn't see them, I just knew they were there.

The dream involved me searching, what for I don't know. Another reoccurring theme.
After hours of looking I found a small black boy hiding under a table.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Shakin Stevens & Ninja Turtles

I had arrived at my mums house, which is a recurring theme for my dreams.
On the way there the road ahead was flooded so I had to cross to the other side. I stepped into what I thought was a shallow puddle and plunged under water.
I was floating total submerged in water and appeared to be able to breath.
Every now again a cartoon Ninja turtle floated past me having drowned which struck me as odd.

Arriving at mums house I found my neighbours there. I had their silver plate and a pair of ginger eyebrows that I was returning to them after having them valued. They seemed happy at the price I had acquired for the items.

I left my mums house and could see 80's pop star Shakin Stevens in the street.
Skakey, as he is affectionately known was moon walking and singing at the same time.
He's still got it!

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Falling for you

As I drifted off to sleep last night, which invariably takes about 10 seconds from my head making contact with the pillow, I was comfortably sat in a chair.
My mind started to visualise something but I couldn't make it out. Just as I began to focus, my wife whipped my chair out from under me and I yelled as I started to fall backwards.

What had actually happened was my wife was cuddled into me from behind and had turned over removing her hold of me.

Back into my dreaming and I was in a huge lorry trailer that had been converted into living accommodation. I was sleeping and had woken to find my wife sat at the steering wheel in the cab of the lorry.
She was very tired and could hardly keep her eyes open. I told her to sleep and I'd take over.
Instead of driving, once she was asleep I got out of the lorry and entered another trailer parked next to ours.
Once inside I wandered in and out of bedrooms filling my pockets with biscuits.

Monday, 4 February 2013

Pink Floyd live at the village hall

I was in my local village hall with my dad, it's always good to see him and he was looking great.
The lights dimmed and onto the stage walked the Legends that are Pink Floyd. They kicked off with 'Wish you were here' and the tiny assembled crowd went mad.
My dad was jumping in the air waving his arms and singing, it was just amazing.

I was next speaking with a man I didn't recognise but appeared to know. We were in a large room and I referred to him as Professor. I informed him that for reasons unknown the police were coming to arrest him.
With this the Professor announced that he would transport himself 20 years into the future to avoid arrest. Without explanation he vanished before my eyes.

I was finally in hospital where I had my arm bandaged up. I kept transporting from the hospital onto a beech and then into a very untidy house.
On the beech I saw my younger sister with a man that looked like Dame Edna Everage. He had on an elaborate pair of glasses that were actually an i pod with headphones.

I was then in the house and I was walking around it having trouble breathing as I couldn't cope with the mess and was very stressed. My wife appeared, comforted me and got my breathing under control. I removed the over tight bandage and found there was nothing wrong with my arm.

I then proceeded to tell Scotty from work about dreaming of Pink Floyd as if I was awake.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Black Ops sniper

Possibly due to the amount of time spent recently on the new Black Ops 2 game has had an influence on my brain.

My dream basically consisted of me hidden on a luxury yacht picking off soldiers with a high powered sniper rife.

The only difference from the actual game was that the song 'Jar of hearts' sung by Christina Perri was playing whilst I expertly shot everyone in sight.

Maybe I'll have a break from the PS3 today!

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Suicide bomber & cannabis fish

I was sat in a chair with a small table to my side. On that table were two unopened bottles of Whiskey. I was really thirsty and these were the only options for me to quench that thirst.
I sat for what seemed like hours staring at the bottles, knowing I don't drink alcohol but was so in need of a drink.
Eventually I woke up and took a sip of my fruit juice on the bedside table.

I was next in an office building at work and was wearing an Second World War style leather RAF flying hat, complete with goggles. Strapped to the top of it was an amount of explosives and hanging from a cord in front of my eyes was a button to detonate the bomb.

I informed my colleagues that I was off to find somewhere to explode.
Walking through a corridor I looked for a toilet, as I strolled I hit a Christmas tree, knocking it to the floor and almost detonating my explosive hat in the process.

Finally I was with my wife in a large garden and I'd built a pond and stocked it with black goldfish.
My wife was feeding the fish food from a plastic tub, when I asked her what was in the tub she showed me that it was full of cannabis seeds.
She then informed me that it was time for the fish to go to bed and she poured a kettle of boiling water in the pond to keep them warm over night!

Friday, 1 February 2013

Emergency pepper

I entered the A&E department of my local hospital last night. As I walked in I could see there had been a fight between staff.
Nurses and doctors were sporting black swollen eyes and blooded noses.
The atmosphere was hostile and staff were shouting and aggressively pushing each other. It was about to flare up again.

I pulled out of my pocket a can of pepper spray and slowly and methodically in turn, sprayed everyone in sight.
Although the pepper spray had absolutely no effect on the staff, it did stop them all fighting and they began to focus their aggression on me!

I don't know what happened to me as I was awoken from the dream to the song, 'Return of the Mack' the 1996 number one hit by Mark Morrison.

I did go back to sleep and was dreaming that my cat Merlin had misplaced one of his back legs. He had a look of complete annoyance on his face. I could still here Mark singing whilst I slept!

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