Friday, 31 October 2014

American PJ

I approached the house of my dads oldest friend, knowing that the house was empty as he has long since passed away. 

When I entered the place was in total disarray, it looked deserted, dirty and cluttered. It was dark and smelly. 

In the corner of the living room was a rabbit hutch that contained a grey bunny. It seemed happy enough. Under the stairs was a cage containing two mice. 

I was next on the outside of the house and I saw my next door neighbour, Bill who is American. Bill was wearing bright red silk pyjamas. We chatted for a while until a car pulled up and a group of female Americans got out. 

As soon as Bill knew they were from the U.S, he stopped talking to me and totally ignored me. It was at this point that I noticed I was totally naked. 
I turned from them all and walked away as dignified as I could given nude state. 


Thursday, 30 October 2014

Beside the Corgi

I was walking along a seafront somewhere I didn't reconise with my wife. Sat on the roadside was a very old lady who looked tired and hungry. 

I offered her some dog biscuits and she happily took them and ate them. We turned away to walk into a shop and I saw the woman had become a Corgi dog. 

We then watched as she trotted off up the middle of the road. Cars and people had to swerve to avoid her. 


Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Sister on ice

I was with my older sister, outside in the dark near to a river. There was enough light to see the water and to also see that it was frozen over. We walked along the edge of the river and chatted. 

Suddenly and without warning my sister stood on the ice. She looked at me as totally confident that she was safe and then promptly disappeared below the ice as it cracked and swallowed her up. I just stared at where she had been and thought to myself, 'I'm not surprised that happened'. 

Lastly I was actor Aaron Paul. He had killed someone and required me to help him with an alibi. I did this by taking him to a pub called The Blue Boar. We walked in and the barman greeted us. I ordered drinks and winked at Aaron. 

When the barman was pouring our drinks I turned his wrist watch back half an hour. I toasted Aaron when we received our beverages and smiled saying, "There you go, he will say we were in here at the time of the murder". 


Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Local shop

As my dad passed away over 11 years ago, it's alway nice to see him in my dreams. Last night I was at my mums house and it was decorated just as it was when I was a teenager. I was looking for my dad but couldn't find him. 

In the living room I found my mum and asked her where dad was. She looked confused and told me, "Dad isn't around any more, you know that". 
Then the door opened and in walked my dad, my joy at seeing him quickly vanished as I saw he was pale and very ill. 

My dad painfully looked at me and said, "I can't come back Son, this is what would happen to me". With that he was gone. 

I was next in my local village shop, I had a basket and picked some items from the first Isle. I turned into the second Isle to go to the checkout but couldn't get past hundreds of people. I ran up and down the end of the shop looking down each Isle. 

I was trapped and unable to leave, I'd never seen so many people in the local shop! 


Monday, 27 October 2014

Harry's happy shopper bus

I had got onto an old double decker London bus and I climbed the stairs to the upper deck. Upstairs wasn't what I expected, it consisted of a long conveyor belt running the entire length of the bus. At the front end was a rubber curtain simular to an airports luggage claim. 

The belt started up and from the other side of the rubber curatin, various grocery items started to move towards me. I then heard the voice of friend and work colleague, Harry over a tannoy. He was very happy and started to call out all of the items as if he was a bingo caller. 

Harry called out to me to pack the times into bags before they fell off the end of the belt. Instead of doing this I looked up to the ceiling and noticed it was made of concrete and that a nail was half banged into it. 

Ignoring the shopping falling around my feet I raised my arm and found that I was holding a hammer. I then made several attempts to hit the nail, none of which moved it at all. I could still hear Harry as I frantically smashed the nail with no effect. 


Sunday, 26 October 2014

Freaky stare

As I climbed into bed in the early hours, having been previously robbed of an hours sleep due to the clocks going back an hour, I did my usual and passed out. 

I immediately woke with a start as someone flicked my nose really hard. I woke my wife up to ask if she was the culprit and it wasn't. I laid there for a few minutes trying to comprehend how this had happened but the tiredness took hold of me and I was asleep. 

I was then being stared at by work colleague James. All I could see was his face looking at me with an expressionless glaze. A couple of times I shock my head to try and vanish the image but he just wouldn't go. 

I have to say that it's freaked me out a bit. 


Saturday, 25 October 2014


I was at work and sat in the office at a row of computer screens. To my left was Matthew and on my right was Julie. We were all eagerly tapping away at our keyboards. I started to talk about the job that we had all three been involved in but the other two didn't seem to be hearing me. 

I glanced up from my screen and looked at Matthew, he had his head turned towards me and his lips were moving but I couldn't hear him. I turned to Julie and she was doing the same. I initially thought I'd gone deaf but I was able to hear myself talking. 

They then both realised that they were unable to talk and started to panic. They got fairly upset and walked out of the room both still mouthing in total silence. 


Friday, 24 October 2014

The drifter

As I have had very limited sleep I'm surprised I actually had any brain activity. What I did have was a little odd. 

I couldn't see anything, more of a feeling. I was floating basically, in total darkness I drifted around horizontally. I didn't know where I was or how high up I was but it was weightless and carefree. 

This feeling seemed endless until I suddenly opened my eyes with a start and let out a little squeak of uncertainty and found myself alone in bed. 


Thursday, 23 October 2014

Ginger cats unite.

I started off by being in a huge boat, a boat so big I looked like a tiny dot on it. It was an ordinary vessel but just of gigantic poportions. The reason I had taken refuse on this massive ship, to prevent being caught and eaten by King Kong. 

I hadn't seen the oversized ape but knew he was after me and so I hid on the boat and sailed away, hoping this would save me. 

Next I'm in my car and see a woman broken down at the side of the road. It was dark and very late and so I offered her some help. She was of course a little unsure of me and initially refused my offer of a lift. I got out and opened my boot. 

As I assured the woman I wasn't a serial killer, I loaded a clothes airer into my car. I then noticed that on the front passenger seat was my ginger cat called Bear. Bear is a house cat and never leaves the confines of our home. I was a little alarmed to see him, and even more frantic when he jumped out and ran towards some trees. 

I chased him and found that he was sat with serveral other ginger cats. He was happy to find others of his kind. I scooped him up and popped him back in the car. The woman and her car had vanished. 


Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Goat in the pig house

I began last night by visiting a house with my wife and two very old women. I didn't know the old ladies or the female that answered the door. She stated that she wasn't ready for visitors and asked us to wait outside. 

Whilst waiting what seemed a very long time, I got bored and looked up at the house to see a huge metal extractor fan ductwork raising up and over the roof. I decided that it wasn't fixed securely and set about climbing to the top of the house. 

Whilst fixing the ductwork to the roof I looked down and saw that my wife and the two elderly women had also got bored and they were weeding the garden. 
Looking into the rear garden I saw our guinea pigs house, which is actually a chicken coop. Inside of it was a goat. 

I was lastly at work sat behind a desk. Two supervisors came in and asked what I was doing sat in the bosses chair and that I should get out before I got into trouble. I smiled, turned my name badge around on the table to face them and looked at their shocked expressions. 

I was the boss! 


Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Giant cuddles

Last night I was in a huge field with the biggest dog I'd ever seen in my life. It looked like a Great Dane but was the size of a horse. I can clearly see reality and dreams mixing here, as I have a horse and a dog. 

The dog was very cuddly and laid down to mussel into me. Even laying on its side, it was still taller than me. I rubbed it head and it cuddled in for ages. It was very relaxing. 

Lastly I was loading the boot of my new car with plastic coat hangers. I piled them in until the boot was full and then carefully closed it shut. As I did this the right hand rear tyre started to hiss. 

I bent down and saw a plastic hanger sticking out from the inside of the tyre and air gushing out. Within seconds the tyre was completely flat and I just looked at it with a feeling of sadness and helplessness. 


Monday, 20 October 2014

Laughing Sean

I had driven my horse in a luxury transportation box up into the Crumbrian mountains. The box had accommodation and was a top of the range model. I pulled up outside a farmhouse and wondered why there was no parking. I left the box in the road blocking half of the carriageway. 

I let down the rear shutter that became a ramp for my horse to walk down. As it lowered, I talked to my horse, telling him he was having a holiday. The scenery was spectacular and as I led my horse out, he looked happy and content. 

I was then inside the farmhouse with my horse, standing in the kitchen diner. A woman that I didn't know welcomed us both and hugged me. Sat on the sofa was Sean, a supervisor from work. Sean was laughing a big hearty belly laugh, it was contagious and I joined in. 

I noticed another woman that I again didn't know sat on another sofa. She too started laughing and the four of us just laughed loudly for no apparent reason. 


Sunday, 19 October 2014

I love music

I love music, any kind of music
I love music, just as long as it's groovin'

Makes me laugh, makes me smile
All the while
Whenever I'm with you girl
While we dance, make romance
I'm enchanted by the things that you do

The O'Jays 1975 hit is all I have in my head today. 


Saturday, 18 October 2014

Old Betsy

I had taken my new car into a garage to have it checked over, it sat shiny and clean. Next to it was my old car, which apart from a few spots of rust was looking good. I glanced at it in fond admiration. 

One of my colleagues that I initially joined my job with arrived. Mark approached me as simply said, "Can I have your old car? I want to resort it to its former Gorly. 

I hugged Mark and cried, "Thank you, I love that old car". 
Let's be clear, I was fond of old Betsy, but I cried about it. 



Friday, 17 October 2014

Boy band & dead chicken

The setting was my place of work and I was sat at briefing waiting to start my day. With me was my good friend Matt, who hadn't been in for ages and he was getting some stick from everyone else because of this. 

Then in walked Kallum who also hadn't been in for ages. I shouted, "Here's boy band!" Mainly because of his styled hair that never moves. Everyone in the room cheered and clapped. The supervisor told Kallum he was working with Phill and his face dropped. He promptly turned around and went home. 

Next I was running over towards what looked like a dead body in the street. When I got there it was in fact, pieces of cooked chicken in a red sause. I scooped them up and ran inside to a dark warehouse. 
I found a sink and started to wash off the sause under the tap. 

Lastly I was back in work and went to collect my bag from the shelving where everyone stores it. I started to shout and swear as mine had been moved from its usual stop. I then began to throw other people's bags around the room in my rage. 


Thursday, 16 October 2014

Lay you down, on a bed of vegetables

I was attempting to plant a flower into an extremely long and thin pot but I couldn't find any soil. My wife was watching me do this and very uncharacteristic of her she began shouting at me that I was doing it wrong and had no idea what I was doing. 

Haven't genuinely never had a cross word with my wife in all the time I have known her, this upset me and I was in shock at her behaviour. Thankfully it was only a dream. 

Lastly, still with my wife, she was laying on top of a huge pike of soil. I climbed up to see her and as I did so, plants started to pop up out of the soil. There were courgettes, carrots and beetroots, all growing at a very fast rate. 

My wife looked over at me and simply said, "It's getting towards winter now, please stop growing vegetables". 


Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Keeper of the keys

Walking along the sea front with my wife, we discover a bunch of keys half buried in the sand. My wife picked them up and decided it was now our mission to locate the owner and reunite them with their lost keys. 

I hailed a yellow taxi which appeared to be normal until it stopped and was the size of a double decker bus. We sat inside and immediately fell down the back of the leather seat and vanished. 

I was lastly in the loft of my Nan's old house. It was dark and I needed the toilet. I climbed down the ladder onto the landing and the house was in darkness. After using the toilet I decided to sleep in the spare room which was empty. 

I woke up feeling totally fresh and saw my nan on the landing. I told her how well I had slept and she said it's because that was the room I was born in. Which it actually was. 


Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Holy island

A extremely brief image from last night as I slept the sleep of champions. All I can recall is looking at a small island away in the distant sea. 

It had a very holy feel about it but I had nothing to base this on other than a feeling of calm and tranquility. 

I have awoken somewhat refreshed today however. 


Monday, 13 October 2014

Inflatable Davina McCall

I began by opening large barrels. They were plastic and had tape around the lids which I was peeling off to get to the contents. Once inside them, I discovered animals curled up at the bottom of the barrels. They were like nothing I had ever seen before. 

Some were lizard type creatures and others resembled small dinosaurs. With every lid I opened, a greatful animal would wake up and scrurry away to freedom. 
The last one that I opened was totally filled with something and spilled out when I flipped the lid. 

It looked like a mass of plastic liquid and when it had emptied from the barrel, it began to inflate like a balloon. I watched as the thing blew up with air and towered about twenty feet above me. 

When it stopped and was fully inflated, I could then see what it was. It was a giant Davina McCall, complete with beautiful wavy hair. I stood and stared in wonder.    


Sunday, 12 October 2014

Keeping up with the James's

The setting was an country cottage set in the grounds of an old school. I was living there with my wife and it was late at night. There had been some high winds and I was aware that trees had fallen down within the grounds. 

We both set off into the darkness to check the damage and check that everyone was ok. We met an elderly woman who I assumed was the head mistress. 

She handed me a list of pupils still in the school and asked me to check they were ok. On the list was four names. I decided to wait until morning as there were just the four to check. 

When morning light came I discovered that on the back of the piece of paper were hundreds of other names. The head mistress immediately sacked us. 

Standing in the cottage with the sunlight through the windows our replacements arrived. It was Lee Ann and Andy and they were looking very smug about it. Lee Ann pointed at the windows and said how dirty they were. 
I was furious. 


Saturday, 11 October 2014

Tablet head

Staring off I had rescued a load of children that had been held captive by a group of gorilla freedom fighters. When I say rescued, the rebels had just decided to hand them over and persue a less violent lifestyle. 

I arranged the children into groups,mainly into colour and size order but one group was children that owned smart phones and another that had red shoes on. 

Next I was under a bed cleaning up the clutter when I realised I was naked and wet. I crawled out from under the bed, opened a door and saw it entered into shopping centre. 

I called out to a child to get me a towel. He handed me a light blue coloured jacket. I put this on and walked out into the shopping centre. 

I then saw work colleauge Matt, who was talking about computer tablets that we are supplied with at work. As he talked I noticed that his hair was cut into the shape of a tablet. I pointed and laughed out loud. 


Friday, 10 October 2014

Car issues

My dream involved my wife last night, we were traveling somewhere in my car overnight and had a sleeping child in the back seat. No idea who the child was as we don't have any. My wife was driving and I looked at the fuel gauge with was almost empty. 

As we pulled into a garage, my wife started stalling the car, she got out and pulled the wiper blades off the front windscreen. She then got back in, drove it another few feet, got out again after stalling it a second time and ripped the headlights off. 

As she was doing this I noticed that the fuel gauge had moved back to full without even having put any in. I decided that I would take over the driving to save losing any further parts of my car. 

Next I was going swimming and entered the changing room carrying a rucksack. I was only wearing my swimming trunks and before entering the pool I had a quick check to see what clothes I had for afterwards. Unfortunately the only clothing in my rucksack was a pair of socks and one of my wife's tops with flowers printed on it. 



Thursday, 9 October 2014

Clint Eastwood condoms

I started off by waking up in my old childhood bedroom in my mums house. As I was heading downstairs I dumped into Naomi from work, who had been asleep in my sisters room. She told me she had been arguing with her boyfriend and stayed the night to get away from him. 

We both sat at a table for breakfast and saw my dad watching TV. On the TV was a programme about a woman who was drowning in chocolate bars. They were all in their wrappers and she had stepped onto a big pile of them and fallen up to her neck. 

We watched as the woman slowing sunk into the chocolate puddle and vanished. My dad looked up from the TV and over to us and said, "That's not your sister, who is she?"  I explained that Naomi was stopping for a while at which point she stood up and walked out. 

Next I was movie legend, Clint Eastwood and was approached by two men inside an abandoned warehouse. Both men reached into their inside jacket pockets and produced a condom in a wrapper. They tore open the packet and handed me the wrapper but kept hold of the condoms. 

I opened an electrical power box which had two empty condom wrappers sellotaped to the inside of the door. I held up the two wrappers that the men had given me and the rips in them matched exactly to the ones taped to the door. 

I then walked further into the warehouse were I found my mum sat looking at a fish tank. She told me she was buying a budgerigar and was waiting for it to come out of quarantine. 

Inside the tank were fish swimming around. I didn't have the heart to tell her. 


Wednesday, 8 October 2014

From Russia with love

Last night I was standing next to a man who was bare chested and sat on the floor. He seemed to be in discomfort and unhappy looking. We were in a street somewhere unknown to me and a few feet behind the man was a bunch of women. 

They were chatting to each other, admiring the man's physical attributes and giggling. The man turned his head towards his admirers and looked confused. No idea how I knew, but I decided the man was Russian and spoke no English. 

I then told the man in fluent Russian that the women were admiring his body. The man then stood up and started to flex his muscles in a Mr Universe display much to the delight of his onlookers. 
Shame I can only converse in a foreign language in my sleep.  


Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Tea bags

Apart from waking up with pins and needles in my hands on a couple of occasions, my dreaming involved my mother. Unfortunately she was being extreamly annoying. 

I was at her house and was about to leave after spending some time with her. She did the usual mum thing and tried to fill bags full of food for me to take home. I insisted that I was fine and didn't actually need anything. 

"What about some Tea bags?" No mum I don't need any thanks, was my reply. She then continued to ask over and over if I wanted any as if she wasn't hearing my answer. It got to the point where I had to just walk out as she was irritating me beyond belief. 

Lastly I was dressed as a police officer driving an ambulance. The ambulance was very dirty and I backed it into a petrol station where there were other ambulances parked up. A female paramedic approached me as I got out and asked me if the ambulance belonged to someone called Pete. 

Instead of replying to her I just walked away into the small shop next to the fuel pumps. Once inside I found myself in a carpark on a housing estate. The car park was empty except for one car which was my old car that I have recently sold. 



Monday, 6 October 2014

Killer sister

The initial part of my dreaming involved my older sister, who in general I get on well with. However in my sleep she was attempting to kill me by stoning me to death. 
At first I thought she was joking when the first small pebble hit my head. 

Then as the stones got bigger and kept coming, I realised she meant business. I tried to run away but she continued to throw them, all making contact with my head and causing blood to drip down my face. I don't know the outcome as I woke briefly and missed it. 

I was next inside a hospital pretending to be a maintenance worker. That was was story if I got stopped and asked what I was doing. I walked done a long corridor looking for the electrical plant room, in my hand was a small transmitter. 

I found the room and was not seen by anyone. Once inside I started wiring up the device to the hospitals CCTV system. The door opened and a group of nurses entered the room. I immediately gave my maintenance man story and they accepted it. 

I was able to finish the job and walk out saying goodbye as I left. In my mind I was now thinking that I could veiw the entire CCTV system when I got home and tuned into the transmitter. 


Sunday, 5 October 2014

Bicycle rage

I was going cycling with my wife, for some reason we had decided to swap bikes. Her's being a ladies bike and much heavier than mine. 

I got on and set off realising that the gear change was totally different to what I was used too, bring a handle twist to change. 

I became very frustrated as I couldn't operate the bike and was getting nowhere. My wife on the other hand was racing off on my bike and was laughing at me. 

I stopped cycling and in a rage picked up the bike and threw it on the floor. My wife despite seeing me smashing her bike continued to laugh at me. 


Saturday, 4 October 2014

Bulldogs got talent

Back into normal sleeping, which in turn means normal dreaming again. Last nights normal involved a bulldog juggling pancakes. 

The pooch was sat on its hind legs whilst throwing pancakes up into the air with his front legs. His head was fixed looking up and his eyes followed the pancakes. 

Not once did the talented canine look as if he would drop one. I watched him for ages in fascination. 

Lastly I was on an old red double decker London bus. I was in my work uniform and had my bag with me that contained all my paperwork. 

There were two female ticket collectors on there too, a long since past part of transport history. I told them that I was going to fill out various forms with them. 

One said to me that this was the end of the line for me. I looked up from my forms to see the bus was empty and we were inside the bus depot. 


Friday, 3 October 2014

Bugger all

This post has been intentionally left blank. Like my head today. 

Thursday, 2 October 2014

Talking dog

Initially I was watching a tap on a sink. No idea why, nothing was happening with it, I was just starring at it. Above the sink was one of those instant hot water boilers that you get at work. I pulled the little red tap down and a bright purple liquid started to pour out. 

The liquid was cold fruit squash and it started to fill the sink. I did nothing to stop it as it overflowed and flooded the floor. 

Next I was looking through a window at people eating I a restaurant. Sat at one of the tables was a large German Shepard dog. It was sitting up like a human and using its paws as hands to eat from a plate. 

The dog caught my eye and walked out and approached me. It started to talk to me and I recognised him as my dads life long friend, Crossy. I then started to draw lines onto planks of timber in preparation to saw them. The talking dog told me he needed one block of wood exactly 10 inches in length. 


Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Mouldy old toe

I was exhausted and fell straight to sleep this morning as soon as my head hit the pillow. Instantly I was looking at a very brown, decaying toe nail. It was as if I was examining it with a magnifying glass. 

As I carefully inspected the rotten nail, it suddenly turned into the head of an American bald eagle. It's eyes wide and cutting back at me. It was shock enough to pull me out of my sleep with a shouted expletive. 
Only seconds had passed from closing my eyes and I instantly fell back into a deep sleep with no further activity until I woke. 

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