Sunday, 30 November 2014

Groundhog train

My dream was stuck in a constant loop today, the exact same scene kept happening and this went on for what seemed like hours. 

I was in a train carrage that was curved and so I couldn't see the other end until I ran around the bend. I just ran as fast as I could from one end to the other, when I got to the end I hit the wall and was back at the start again. 

After hours of this continuous procedure, I hit the wall expecting to return to the start but this time I smashed through the carrage and landed in the saddle on the back of my horse. The shock of this, woke me up. 


Saturday, 29 November 2014

Wille Carson chess cheat

I was part of a studio audience that was watching another studio audience. I don't know what they were watching. They all appeared to be actors and actresses as they were talking as if they were rehearsing for a Shakespearian play. 

Then my cousin David appeared and handed me a glass paperweight that contained sea shells, he keenly asked of my opinion of the object. My reply was, "That's the most hideous thing I've ever seen". 
David then pointed out former jockey, Wille Carson was sitting in the other audience. 

Wille was playing chess with a woman but she was distracted by another woman practicing her dramatic voice. David nudged me and said, "Watch him he's cheating". I observed Willie as he casually moved his elbow as he lent on the table and carefully movd various chess pieces around. 

He kept smiling and chatting as he cheated his way into winning the game. I then awoke from my dream rather suddenly as my dog jumped on me. 


Friday, 28 November 2014

Pulling my chain

Nothing more than me standing close to a brick wall last night. Hanging out of the wall was a metal linked chain that I initially thought was fixed to the bricks. When I lifted it up, it pulled slightly out of the wall towards me. 

I continued to pull it towards myself and found that it was getting longer and feeding out from a hole. This went on for some time with me a considerable distance from the wall and still pulling more chain out. 


Thursday, 27 November 2014

Zombie mannequins

Sat at work getting ready for a shiftz, I was on the phone informing someone that I was taking a van out and that four of us would be working together. I was going to be with, Anne, Matt and Kallum but when asked their names I'd completely forgotten. 

I had to walk around the room and look at their name badges to remember who they were, which was embarrassing because I know them all very well. 

Once out and about in the van, I parked up to go and look at a house that was for sale, leaving the three in the van outside. 
I approached the house which had an American style porch. 

The front door crashed open and hundreds of shop manaquins flew through the air towards me. They were naked except for black and white stripes around their wrists and ankles. 

I immediately pulled out a pistol and started shooting them to no effect. I tried to call my colleagues but again forgot their names! A manaquin started to eat my face and as it did, the stripes increased and began to cover its entire body. 

The dummy's face turned into a zombie with dripping blood from its mouth. I screamed for help and my three colleagues just ignored me in retaliation for me forgetting their names. 


Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Shit coach

I was on a coach as a passenger, not sure of my destination, the driver was work colleague Nigel. The road was busy and we were at a standstill, Nigel told me we were waiting for two more passengers and asked me to ring them. 

I made a phone call and was explaining directions to a female about walking through an alley to locate the coach. As I continued with my directions, a group of men stood in front of the coach. They all looked simular, their hair was shaved at the sides and they all had Irish accents. 

Each one of them were carrying plastic buckets, as I talked on the phone they started scooping the contents from the buckets and smearing it all over the windows of the coach. Much to the disgust of Nigel, they were using excrement. Not sure from who or what it came from but it was big. 
Nigel got out of the coach and angrily chased off the men down the street. 

Lastly I was sat at a table with work supervisor Nick and a bald man I didn't recognise. I was explaining that my wife had arranged a party for me but they wouldn't be able to attend as they would be working. As I looked at the guy I didn't know, he smiled and I saw that it was my friend and colleague, Claire. She was dressed as a man and had shaved her head. 


Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Barry Island

A welcome return to my dream last night to the Chuckle Brothers, Barry and Paul. I was following them along a street as they discussed their latest movie which was called Barry Island. Paul rightly questioned as to why it was named after his brother and not him. 

The conversation of course got into a 'To you, to me', exchange as they walked off along the road. I stopped following them and headed off laughing. 

I was then opening my fridge and found it was full of frozen chicken eggs. I began to count them and found that there were twenty. Odd but only the eggs were frozen and the rest of the contents wasn't.  


Monday, 24 November 2014

The singer

As I slept during the day again today, I thought I'd been asleep for hours but hadn't. I could hear a man singing, I couldn't make out the song but he seemed happy. I would drift in and out of sleep and occassionally hear the singer. 

After an age of listening to this I thought that it was actually coming from outside my house and wasn't a dream. After a check of the street I found it yo be completely void of anyone? 
Totally confused as to if it was real or not now! 


Sunday, 23 November 2014


I was being held captive in an underground facility, there were hundreds of us dressed in those white all in one scenes of crime suits. I was being hoarded in a large group like a sheep. 

Everyone, including myself were submissive and dutifully walked where we were told to go. Until I glanced down and noticed blood splatters on my sleeve. 

I seemed to come alive and upon seeing the blood, I smiled and manifested into TVs serial killer, Dexter. With this transformation, I set about planning my escape. 

I started singing, and slowly got others to join in, some playing instruments and some singing too. When I thought everyone was being entertained, I made my move. 

I walked over to a door and gave it a knock. It opened and I was outside in the daylight. A man, woman and child ushered me to a car. 

They were there to aid my escape but the child, a boy of about ten, started to play up about having to go on the lap belt on the back seat. 

As I got into the drivers seat, I turned from serial killer Dexter into my work colleauge, Matt. Getting into the car my trousers dropped exposing my arse crack.  


Saturday, 22 November 2014


I was going to leave the content black, as this was the state of my head today after a night shifz. 
Nothing at all but on the plus side I slept very well which is unusual for a day sleep. Bit of a comatose state if anything. 


Friday, 21 November 2014

X rated decorating

Other than meeting a woman I didn't know in a long corridor, the reminder of my dreaming was totally X rated. No complaints from me but sorry I'm not sharing those parts. 

The woman I bumped into had wallpapered the hallway in a black flock paper adorned with a gold floral pattern. It was horrible and she proudly stood before her work awaiting praise. 

The acknowledgment she so wanted for her decorating skills wasn't forthcoming from me and I left her without saying a word to continue the more sordid part of my dream. 


Thursday, 20 November 2014

Black jigsaw

Myself and my wife were attempting to do a jigsaw puzzle last night. I tipped the box upside down and all the pieces were black. Looking at the photo on the cover of the box, this was a black square. 

My wife suggested sorting all the edges out first, which was a start but the puzzle was virtually impossible and very boring. 

 I left the room and entered a school hall that had tables around the edges. On each table was a collection of hardware products such as bolts and screws. 


Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Mouldy head

There were two separate parts to my dream last night, the first involved a dead body, a slight theme this week unfortunately. 

The body was that of a man, he was laying on a wooden table with his head flopped over the edge which made his mouth open. 

I decided I would try and push his head onto the table to give him a bit of dignity but when I touched it, I found that my fingers slipped through his skull like a very over ripe melon. 

The more I tried to take hold of it, the more it fell apart in my hands. I walked away with the head in pieces and my hands covered in gooey brains. 

Lastly in my mums back garden I was attempting to manoveoure a telegraph pole. It seemed way bigger than normal and I successfully managed to wedge it into next doors fence. 


Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Planet of the apes

I was I long corridor, it was dimly lit and the walls were black. At various points along the corridor were people standing facing the walls. Some were on step ladders. 

They were all either drawing or painting on the walls with brushes or crayons. Everyone was creating various characters or scenes from the original Planet of Apes movie. 

They were extremely detailed and intricate works of art and when finished I could see would all join together to make a massive display dedicated to the film. 

Lastly I found a ladder outside in a field. When I stepped on the bottom run, it lifted into the air and started flying across the field. I hung on and enjoyed the ride. 


Monday, 17 November 2014

Kill streak

Bit of a blood bath last night where I was just walking around shooting people. Anyone I saw got a bullet. I seemed to be doing this for hours until I saw my work colleague known as ghost. 

Ghost held his hand up in a motion tostop me firing at him and I lowered my gun. Ghost just said to me, "The war is over, stop killing everyone". 


Sunday, 16 November 2014


With my wife I were outside a club waiting to get in. The club was in fact an old shop that used to be at the local shops near to my mums house and had been converted into a makeshift venue. I had ladies black high heel shoes on as my wife had told me I had to have shoes on to get in. 

We entered the club and it was a ramshackle place that was in effect, a corridor that led to a big empty room. Various people stood around the outside of the room, there was no music. A big muscular man started talking to us, he stated he was gay and had been with his partner for 16 years. 

I noticed my good friend Martin come into the room and do left my wife with the man to chat to him. As I stood there I felt a sharp pain my neck, I looked to see that I had a blow dart stuck in me. An elderly man in a suit was laughing at me. 

I pulled out the dart, walked over to the old man and stuck it into has face, he passed out. Whén I looked around, My wife and the gay man had vanished. I exited by the door that led into the corridor and as I did a side door opened and my wife came out laughing. 

I peered into the room and saw the gay man naked and giggling, there was no one else in the room. Not happy with this I immediately stabbed him in the heart and held the blade as I watched the life drain from his face and then dropped his corpse to the floor. 


Saturday, 15 November 2014


I really have nothing from last night other than the feeling that I was either floating in water or on air. I couldn't tell which. 

This is my only memory from last night before I was rudely awoken from my slumber by my alarm. 

It often happens that I am dreaming just prior to waking up and thus can be erased if that awakening is the harsh sound of a reminder that I'm on a day shiftz.  


Friday, 14 November 2014

Keeping up appearances

I was at my place of employment, once again in the department my wife works in. The floor was clear as all the desks had been pushed against the walls, standing in the middle of the room was supervisor, Andy. Sat at one of the desks was Twelly. 

Twelly had removed his tie as he was feeling warm but Andy was shouting at him about it. He said, "Look at this baseball player, plays the whole game in a shirt and tie, and does he take his tie off? No he doesn't!" He then held up his phone which was playing a baseball game on it. 

Twelly just put his head down and tried to avoid the verbal onslaught, but as he was the only other person in the room, it was difficult to hide. I then became aware of someone else sat at another desk in the far corner. 

I looked over and it was Sonia, she doesn't work in this department and so I went over to see what she was doing. Layed out on the desk was what I presumed a dead body. Sonia was wrapping it in brown parcel paper. 

On a pile on the floor next to her was a stack of body shaped parcels held together with sellotape. Sonia glanced up at me for a second and smiled, she then went about wrapping the body as if she was doing her Christmas presents.  


Thursday, 13 November 2014

Broken glass

Along with my wife I was approaching an office building, we were both carrying very large pane of glass. As I looked at the building, I saw that every window was smashed. My wife aware of my clumsiness, kept telling me to be careful. 

I put down the glass pleased that I hadn't broken it. From out of the building, appeared our neighbour, Lawrence, he was wearing a workman's belt kit. He beckoned us inside saying he'd like us to see his work. We were surprised to see that inside he had crafted wooden swings and had painted them bright colours. 

I then became aware that I needed the toilet, a common feature in my sleep when I actually need to pee, it manifests into my dream. I went upstairs and found an empty room, I decided to pee over a table top for some reason. 

As I was about to perform this bodily function, when the door opened and an Asian woman entered. I tried to keep my back to her to avoid alarming her but after a while of her not leaving I decided to abort the mission. 

As I woke up from my sleep needing the toilet I could hear the 1991 Genisis song, 'I cánt dance', that song is still playing in my head several hours later. 



Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Bubble babies

I had gone into the department at work where my wife works. I found myself a desk and sat down with my feet on the table. I was very relaxed and Tom, who was sat near me, commented that I should transfer to the department. "Alright Son, make yourself at home."

I looked up and saw my wife on another desk smiling at me. Then someone gave me some post that had been redirected to me and a parcel. I opened the parcel to find it contained a car stereo. I passed it over to my wife and left the office. 

Lastly I was blowing bubbles from one of those small pots that are sold to children. I watched as the bubbles floated off into the air. As I watched them, they all turned into babies heads, some were smiling and laughing. The ones that started to cry, burst as they did so. 


Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Secret shop

To start with I was in a restaurant with the French prime minister, who had treated me to lunch, which was nice of him. From there I was suddenly leaning over a barbed wire fence attempting to reach something. I was using a pair of metal kitchen tongs. 

Next I was entering a small corner shop holding a four pint carton of milk and a plastic container of tomato sauce. As I walked in I dropped the milk carton and as I bent down yo pick it up, I dropped the tomato sauce. 

Annoyed at my own clumsiness, I opened a fridge door to put the items into. As I did this I knocked a lime onto the head of a woman standing next to me. I appolgised and walked to the back of the shop, entering a door. 

On the other side of the door was a labyrinth of tunnels leading downwards. I past people on the way, all of which looked familiar but I just couldn't recall where I'd previously seen them. Eventually I reached a vast underground room that was completely empty. 


Monday, 10 November 2014

The Lord has bread rolls

Some times as a direct result of seeing or watching an event, it has an influence in my dreaming. Last night after watching the last episode of Downton Abbey, Lord Grantham appeared. 

The scene was a modern day city street, full of restaurants and shops and a man was sat at a table reading his newspaper whilst having a coffee.

Lord Grantham decided it would be great fun to throw bread rolls at the man and proceeded to bombard him with the bakery missiles. 

The man far from becoming annoyed, simply turned away from the onslaught and as he did so was in a bedsit with his hands in a sink. He washed his hands and Lord Gratham vanished. 


Sunday, 9 November 2014

Pooh pick

There is absolutely nothing more to my dream last night than me collecting pooh in a field. This is something I do on a daily basis, pooh picking after the horses. 

Last night however I was clearing up after the dog but using the scoop and shovel that I normally use for the horses and in their paddock. 
I seemed very happy. 



Saturday, 8 November 2014

Cold hearted killer

I was in a house I didn't know, I had the feeling I shouldn't have been there. This was confirmed when two men walked in and asked me how I'd got into their house. 

I then without hesitation, shot both men in the head. I had no remorse and no feelings towards my actions at all. I then set about covering my actions by setting up the house to explain my DNA being present. 

I thought that if I pretended that I'd never been in the house, then there would be no explanation as to why my DNA was present. I changed a photo that was in a frame, to one of myself and left a few belongings of mine around. 

I was next a policeman and was presenting a man before the custody desk that I'd arrested. The man had caused some minor criminal damage. As I stood at the desk I received a phone call. 

I was informed that two bodies had been found shot in a house. The custody sergeant asked what the man was arrested for and instantly I said, "Murder, he shot two men dead". 


Friday, 7 November 2014

Angry lobster

Initially I was watching the TV, it was the morning news programme and had a male and female presenter that looked vaguely familiar. They both doomed to be messing about and not taking anything at all seriously. 

They did a link to a news report and the camera changed to the same two presenters but the female was dressed in a blonde wig. They looked serious for a second and then both burst out laughing. 

Lastly I was in a kitchen and walked past the sink. Sat in the sink was a big red lobster, normally a sign they are cooked and dead. This one however wasn't dead. I knew this because it was angrily waving its claw at me with a clenched human fist at the end of it!  


Thursday, 6 November 2014

Name that tune

I was walking in the deck of an aircraft carrier, at least that's what it looked like. However some elements appeared to be in cartoon. 

As I looked around at my surroundings I noticed objects flying above my head. I couldn't make out what they were, other than large. 

I then from behind my back, pulled out a rocket launcher, I aimed up and fired. Instantly I hit something as there was a huge explosion and airplane parts fell about me. 

I was next in my old childhood bedroom and a woman was sleeping on the floor. I told her to leave and she started to collect her belongings. As she did this I heard music. 

Playing onan old tape recorder was a song by the Raconteurs. I was trying to recall the name of the song, I said to the woman, "Oh what's this called?"  She ignored me. 

Since waking up I have discovered the song was called 'Blue veins' from the album Broken boy soldiers. 


Wednesday, 5 November 2014

My round

Very brief last night, with just the one scene. I was in a pub standing up at the bar when a woman came and stood next to me. She started chatting as if she knew me but I wasn't sure who she was. I offered to buy her a drink. 

As the words left my lips, four of her friends arrived and they all smiled expectedly at me. I walked further along the bar to where the barmaid was standing and she had already prepared their drinks. It all seemed like a conspiracy. 

I took the women their drinks and once they had them, they all ignored me. I returned to the barmaid to collect my drink and she gave me a China mug full of cold coffee! 


Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Toilet rock

I must have needed the toilet in my sleep because I was dreaming that I was sat with my trousers down on the pan. But alarmingly I was in the centre of a large room next to another man doing the same. 

On the far wall were two doors, one was the ladies toilet and the other the men's. From another room very loud rock music was being played. As I listened, I fell asleep. 

I woke, but not for real, in the dream and saw a small boy running laughing towards the toilet doors. He shouted, "I'm going to use the ladies toilet". With this from my right I heard a voice shout, "No stop, you can't go in there!"

I looked and saw Chief Wiggum from the Simpsons chasing the boy. Behind him was a group of women, but they were not in cartoon form like the chief. 

The boy entered the female toilet, followed by the Chief and the women. I looked at the door for a while and then fell back to sleep. 


Monday, 3 November 2014

Last man standing

I began last night by bumping into a work colleague called Boxer. He had very muddy hands and was stood in a doorway. Although he was very happy and chatty, he seemed to be blocking the entrance to prevent me from entering. 

He glanced over his shoulder as if addressing someone and said, "Have you seen Max's hat, he looks well dapper". I couldn't see anyone and there was no response from the darkness beyond Boxer. 

I was next laying inside an MIR machine, something I did recently. I was drifting off to the very loud buzzing sound that it makes, when it suddendly stopped. I waiting for the bed to slide out but nothing happened. After an age I realised all was not right and so crawled out. 

I found no one in the room, beyond that, the hospital was completely empty of people. I ventured outside to find more of the same. No people, nowhere. It was as if everyone had totally vanished. Everything was as if they had suddenly disappeared. 

As I walked around I thought that maybe being inside the MIR had spared me and I contemplated a life totally alone. Above my head birds were circling and I wondered my they hadn't vanished. As I walked further I realised the birds were the size of Pterodactyls and started to run for cover. 
I woke before I was swooped upon. 


Sunday, 2 November 2014

Underground factory

Deep in an underground facility, resemblant to a James Bond film, I had turned up to work. I had the feeling that I'd previously been employed by the same company, but I didn't recognise anyone. 

I wandered around and saw that everyone else had stopped working and were looking up at a huge clock. The clock was rapidly ticking around to 10am. As soon as it struck on the hour, everyone headed towards the canteen. 

I looked down to my hand and found that I was holding a flask of tea. I then walked through the seating area within the canteen and pondered on where to sit. I didn't want to sit in someone's seat and being the new guy, I might step on someone's toes. 

I eventually spotted a single table right in the corner and headed for it. Just as I sat down a buzzer sounded and everyone headed back to work! 


Saturday, 1 November 2014

House of Jaguar

I was in a London street with my wife, it was a very wealthy part of the city. The road was filled with huge houses and expensive shops. 

I walked up to a house that faced directly onto the pavement and cupped my hands over the glass and pressed my head in to look inside. 

The house contained a black E type Jaguar car my all time favourite, although I prefer red. I turned to tell my wife and she had vanished. 

I tried to turn around but the floor beneath my feet started to move as if I was on a balance board. I put my arms out to steady myself. 


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