Thursday, 31 July 2014
Last night I started off in a large retail store, I wasn't shopping but seemed to know the place well as if I worked there. I wondered around but couldn't see anything clearly. All the products appeared to be in plain boxes and there were no indication as to their identity.
I was next on a giant obstacle course that was made out of horse saddles the size of cars. I could progress along the course by throwing large stones that were perfectly round in shape. Towards the end, there was an impossible gap to jump and I was about to give up when I saw a very large stone attached to a rope.
I swung the stone above my head and hurtled it towards the last saddle. It made contact and a bridge dropped and allowed me to walk over and complete the course.
As I did this loud rock music played out and fireworks erupted.
Everyone around stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Someone shouted out, "Man, you've reached guitar level, no one has ever done that before". I was pleased with myself, although I had no idea what it meant.
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
Kept waking up just as I was about to punch people in the face. I jumped out of my dream state, every time I was about the make contact.
I was being confronted with annoying people who I just wanted to hit. They appeared in front of me and I attempted to punch them but each time I tried, I woke up.
No complaints of assault from my wife this morning and she certainly looks unharmed, so I'm guessing I wasn't acting out the dream in my sleep.
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Many years ago I worked in a supermarket stacking shelves. For someone with OCD, the job of 'facing up', is a very therapeutic task. Getting all the products aligned with labels facing front and perfectly straight is calming and fullfilling.
Last night my dream consisted of exactly that, what seemed like hours of facing up products in a supermarket to background music supplied by David Bowie. The song was 'Sound and Vision, a hit back in 1977.
I awake today fully refreshed with a sense of well being with the urge to organise my food cupboard.
Monday, 28 July 2014
I was in a large room that contained a massive drum shaped machine. Standing next to it was Lee-Ann who told me it was a giant coffee maker. She opened up the lid and got a large tub of coffee beans to pour into it.
I stopped her from doing it as I could see fluff in the drum, I got a vacuum cleaner and sucked out all the fluff whilst Lee-Ann held the beans. When I'd finished she threw them into the drum and shouted "Beans!"
I was next in a furniture showroom with my mum, we were looking for my older sister. We couldn't find her so my mum asked if I wanted a game of cards and we'd play a game called 29. She was about to explain the rules when Harry arrived.
Harry had no shirt on and was very drunk. He fell on the floor and laid his head on my phone. My mum dealt him some cards and he started snoring. My sister arrived and was worried someone was going to steal her car.
Lastly I was in a hotel room in bed and hiding under the covers. I heard someone enter the room and pretended to be asleep. They approached me and pulled back the cover.
I could see it was actor Nicolas Ball. He saw it was me, tutted and left the room.
Sunday, 27 July 2014
I had decided to walk to the shops, I had grabbed my wife's dressing gown and was heading along the street. The dressing gown however was a full length fur coat and was attracting a few onlookers.
When I reached the shops, they were all open but totally empty, even the staff were missing. I wandered around them for a while then decided I required the toilet.
I next found myself in a public toilet.
As I looked for somewhere to urinate, a teenage lad was wandering around in his underpants shouting. He was demanding that someone gave him a lift to the railway station. A black woman was cleaning the toilets but ignoring the lad.
The lad started to shout at me and was saying how stupid my fur coat looked, I decided to ignore him too. I started to use one of the urinals and when I looked down, the woman was cleaning it. I immediately was unable to wee and tried to turn away from her.
Every time I turned the woman moved so that she could watch me urinate. It was very unnerving and the lad was still prancing around in his underpants shouting for a lift. The whole scene was very uncomfortable.
It was at this point that I woke up with pins and needles in both hands.
Saturday, 26 July 2014
Last night I was a policeman and I was driving a car when I saw a white van approach a juntion on my left. The van was going fast and didn't stop, it cut across me causing me to slam by brakes on. The van carried on and the driver didn't see me.
I spun around and saw the van pull up on the left and the driver walk into a house. I ran after him and knocked on the glass front door. I could see the driver on the other side, along with several other people.
I was invited in and could clearly see the van driver was drunk. He didn't speak English and so I asked the others to interpret for me. The man fell over and I managed to put a tube in his mouth to breathalyse him, it read 160.
I then tried to arrest the man but an old woman started punching me and a young lad produced a knife. There were lots of kids running around crying too, the scene was chaotic and becoming dangerous. I shouted on my police radio, "Get me some help here now!"
The reply over the radio was, 'Merry Christmas!"
Friday, 25 July 2014
I was at work and one of my supervisors called Stu, he had a young lad in a room because he had found canabis on him. They both sat at a table whilst Stu filled in some paperwork to record the drugs.
I entered the room and picked up a plastic bag that contained the green herbal substance. The lad looked remorseful and Stu continued to write, ignoring me. I opened the bag and poured its contents into another bag but spilt a lot of it on the table.
I scooped up the canabis from the table and checking that Stu wasn't watching, I popped the drugs into my pocket. In my mind I had every intention to smoke it later. I left the remainder of the canabis on the table and left the room.
As I walked away I heard a knocking, I opened a door and found Phil who had arrived for work. I chatted with him as we walked, telling him that it had been a very quiet night. We entered another room and bumped into Leanne. I told her that I had dreamt about her the other night and she was happy that she was in one of my dreams.
I then saw the former presenter of the TV show, 'Magpie'. Her name I couldn't remember but I have since looked her up and she is Jenny Hanley.
Jenny told me that she had been phoned at 3 pm to come into work and that she had no idea what she was doing. She was wearing a knitted jumper that she was using as a dress as it went past her knees.
Thursday, 24 July 2014
I spent my dream in one location, it was a narrow corridor no wider than a door. I'd attended the home of friends Judy and Trevor, on their doorstep was a large blue plastic container. I kicked it and it had liquid in it.
I opened their front door and saw another closed door at the end of the corridor. It was about forty feet long and had no other doors or windows along its length. As fast as my legs would carry me I ran towards the other door.
When I was just about to reach it I heard loud snoring coming from the other side of the door. I turned in panic and ran all the way back to the outside, closing the entrance door as I did so. I again kicked the blue plastic container and repeated the process.
I must have ran up and down that corridor for hours in a Groundhog Day style, each time the process was exactly the same and never deviated in any way.
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
I could hear very loud classical music being played. It was a bright sunny day and I was outside in the countryside. I walked across a grass field, heading towards the music. As it got louder, I turned a corner and was confronted with huge stone steps up to a massive stately home.
The music was coming from the house beyond the steps and I sat half way up the steps to listen. I remained there with my eyes closed, soaking up the sounds and sun. It was very pleasant.
I was next in a car park, it was dark and late at night. It was in contrast to the stately home setting, ice cold and everyone was wearing fur trimmed hooded coats.
I could see my car and it stood out from the rest as it was the only one not covered in ice.
My wife appeared and told me that we had to disguise the car so that it blended in with the others. She then started to rub her hands over the car which as she did this, stared to freeze up. It spread from her hands and quickly covered the entire car.
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
I used to live in the Lincolnshire seaside town of Skegness and often dream of being there. Last night I had returned to collect some belongings from my family. I was with two other people but I didn't know them.
I walked them through the streets until we reached a house that I said was my family home. It wasn't and I'd randomly picked a house I liked the look of. I opened a door by pretending I had the keys but went through the motion of turning them in the lock. There was a second door which I did the same again, both times the doors opened.
We entered into a living room to find a family sat around a table, all of them looked shocked at three strangers walking into their house. I said, "This is my family, hi everyone, I've come for my things". They all looked even more confused. The mother of the family then suddenly started to go along with it and hugged me and said, " Your things are still in your room".
I was next at work and had gone to help out in the department run by supervisor Pat. I knew that someone needed help and that I was the only one available trained to use the equipment needed.
Pat asked who had told me to come down and help and I informed him that I volunteered.
Pat was very stroppy about this and told me to leave and get the correct authority to do the procedure. Angry at this I told him, " Stop being a dick, you know what, stuff you, find someone else to do it!"
Lastly I was at a big house that had an indoor swimming pool, I walked in hoping to have a private swim but was confronted with hundreds of school children having lessons. I headed over to one of the instructors who was wearing black rimmed glasses. I told him he looked like Eric Morecambe.
The guy laughed but then said that everyone was too young to remember who Eric Morecambe was. I shouted out, "Who knows Eric Morecambe?" Everyone put their hands up.
Monday, 21 July 2014
Last night I was running with a very full washing up bowl of oil. I was in my Nan's old house where I was born.
In my mind I needed to pour the bowl down a sink and then turn the hot tap on to break up the oil. I ran into the back room where I was actually born in.
The only thing in the room was an old style wooden unit that had a lift up lid. When I pulled up the lid, it revealed a sink but I couldn't see a tap.
I pulled at a handle and it turned into a record player, an old vinyl 78rmp dropped down and began to play.
I dropped the bowl of oil on the floor and started to do my best MC Hammer dance to Hammer time. Even though the music was classical.
Just before I woke up I was in the garden with my dog. He was chasing something around the garden and had it cornered.
When I looked it was a baby pig the size of a field mouse.
Sunday, 20 July 2014
My night began in a street, no idea where but I was there with my wife our good friend Fi. Fi asked me to put up a CCTV camera on the wall of a building, I climbed a very rickety old ladder which she held whilst I fixed the camera.
I next heard a phone ringing as I lay asleep, It was coming from my wife's side of the bed. I know it was a dream because we don't have a phone in the bedroom. I reached over and answered it. A voice said, "This is the adult learning centre you have an appointment on Wednesday". I then heard a group of people in the street outside my house, they were all talking in German.
Next I was with Stu from work who was showing me a pair of men's underpants that he had received in the post. He held them up, they were black and very large. He was shouting, "Why have I been sent these?"
I was next in some kind of narrow passageway, it was difficult to get past if another person walked by. As I walked along I saw Naomi from work, she appeared to be dressed in a workman's overall.
As I tried to manovoure around her, she grabbed me around the neck and pushed me up against the wall.
Right in my face she aggressively said, "You got me involved in that insurance scam and you better sort it out". I had no idea what she was talking about but she clearly meant business.
Lastly I was at work, it was night time and I was alone out in one of the works cars. I decided to drive as fast as I could in and out of parked cars. Driving as close as I could, I floored it without hitting anything.
Proud of my driving skills I pulled up the handbrake and the car skidded around 180 degrees and the back end smashed into a wall. I sat contemplating for a minutes before deciding I just not tell anyone and someone else would get the blame.
Saturday, 19 July 2014
I started off by entering a garden shed that turned out to be a church on the inside. I approached the altar I could see an open coffin that was an odd shape but defiantly a coffin because I could see the dead body of one of my neighbours in it. (I won't name them for fear of freaking them out).
As I sadly walked towards the coffin my wife suddenly ran past me, nudging me as she rushed towards the altar. As she reached the coffin, she didn't slow down and gave it a hard shove, shooting across the room.
Lastly I was waiting to board a coach but was waiting for my wife to arrive. I watched as the three coaches that were parked, slowly filled with passengers. As the last coach closed its doors and drove away, my wife finally arrived.
I explained that we were too late and would have to get the train instead. We did this and it was so packed that it was nose to nose with no room to move. It was hot and very uncomfortable.
I could hear a voice that I recognised but was unable to tuen my head to confirm who it was.
I finally managed to strain my head a little and saw Spooner from work sat in a chair with nobody even remotely close to him!
Friday, 18 July 2014
Last night there was a massive thunder storm. Whereby most people were disturbed by it, I on the other hand, slept through it. My sleep was an epic coma, not sure I even moved.
I have an empty head too, no memory of any dreaming, which can only mean one thing. I didn't dream.
Very rare but I was most welcome of a full nights sleep for once.
Thursday, 17 July 2014
Not for the first time I was at the London Underground station of Becontree, on the District line.
I was with my dad and we got off of a train and headed for the exit. In my mind I knew we didn't have tickets, I was worried but dad just boldly walked past the ticket collector and didn't look at him.
As I nervously followed my dad, I made the mistake of making eye contact with the ticket collector and he started to follow us, as if my glance somehow told him I hadn't paid my fair.
We jumped into a car and attempted to drive off.
As we sat in he front of the car, the ticket man jumped in the back and stared at us. Dad calmly indicated for us to get out, which we did. Dad then flicked a match and without looking behind him, tossed it back into the car. It exploded into flames with the ticket man inside.
I was next the owner of a petrol garage and I was thinking that I wasn't making any money. My employee arrived for work holding a bottle of whiskey that he intended to drink during his shift.
I said to him, "John, it's not working out, I'm closing the garage". I handed him a £50 note and he left.
I was next in a toilet cubicle urniating when my wedding ring started to become very loose as my finger shrank. Not wishing to loose it down the pan I took it off and placed it on the systern. As I stood there I could smell tobacco smoke wafting in from the next cubicle.
I came out of the cubicle and then out of the toilet when I realised I'd left my wedding ring. I ran back in to see a black woman who was about seven feet tall, she was inspecting my ring. I looked at her and she just handed it back to me.
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
I was standing under a large tree in the rain waiting for a bus. I was on a housing estate and I was holding a hot water bottle.
Across the road was my good friend Timmy who was standing at a bus stop also. He was looking very smart in a grey suit.
As a bus arrived Timmy shouted over to me, "Not this one bud, you want the number 99, oh your bottle is leaking by the way". I looked at the hot water bottle and saw that water was shooting out of the top.
I was next walking along a covered street full of shops and bars. I entered a bar and saw someone I reconised sat at a table. It was lead singer with 70's pop group the Bay City Rollers, Les McKeown.
Les stood up as if he knew me and shook my hand. We sat and chatted for ages.
Lastly I was in a back garden to a house and there was a large wood cutting bench saw. My work supervisor Stu was struggling to carry huge panels and place them on the saw to cut. He never spoke.
Tuesday, 15 July 2014
I began a full night of dreaming by attempting to swim the length of my mums lawn. It's not very big but really difficult to front crawl with no water. I gave up.
I was next in a police custody block which was totally rammed with people, police officers and prisoners filled every inch of the place. Hanging from every wall and from the ceiling were tomato plants, ladened with ripe red tomatoes. I kept handing a folded T shirt to a policeman but he just threw it back at me every time.
Next I was in a van with work colleague Robbo. He was hungry and so we stopped at a pub to eat. Inside it was set out like a cinema and playing on the screen was the film, 'Carry on Screaming'. We sat down at the back and were chained to a metal rod.
The characters then walked out of the screen into the room and we managed to slip off our chains and started to leave the room. If you've seen the movie then you'd know the character, Odd Bod. He started to chase us and we knocked over tables ans chairs in our haste to escape.
Lastly I was in a lavish stately home which had an amazing spread of food set out on a long table. The lady of the house invited me to help myself, she said, "Tuck in Max, you missed out at the pub". As I wondered how she knew this I heard a lorry reversing.
I looked around to see my wife taking a driving lesson in a 40 foot artic truck. She was inside the room I was in and she skilfully manovoured the truck around the furniture and lunch guests.
Monday, 14 July 2014
Had a bit of an epic 10 hour coma sleep and only have a brief memory of my dream.
It basically involved me standing in front of two dogs. They were small, Terrier sized, one was black and the other was brown and white.
The black one turned his head towards the other and said, "Let's see if we can get the human to follow us". The other dog winked at him. They started to walk off and I followed them.
Sunday, 13 July 2014
Apart from having the 1967 Gene Pitney song, 'Something's gotten hold of my heart', constantly playing in my head, I kept putting my reading glasses on.
I would then remove them again, feel a slight pinch on the side of my head, and then try them on again.
This went on for some time and I was being watched by a group of onlookers, none of which I knew.
I eventually removed a screw from one arm of the glasses, leaving only one arm on them and put them back on. Happy that they were now longer tight, I walked about proud that I'd fixed the problem.
I did however look stupid and everyone was pointing and laughing at me. In anger I took them off and threw them onto the floor and stamped on them.
Saturday, 12 July 2014
Friday, 11 July 2014
I was at work and it was very early in the morning, the room was subdued and nothing was going on. In the corner of the room were two workmen who appeared to be fixing the lighting.
I heard Rich shout that grub was up and he entered with a brown bag containing cooked sausage and bacon rolls. The two workmen became very interested and started to move closer in the hope of being offered some food.
Nina suddenly appeared from nowhere and took a couple of rolls and sat with me to eat. Rich had a pile of china plates stacked in size order, with the smallest on top. Into these he poured earl gray tea.
I noticed that the rolls had no butter in them and so left the room to go to the kitchen.
Upon my return with the butter, the room was completely empty and there was no sign of any food. Gutted.
Thursday, 10 July 2014
A lot going on last night, starting with me wearing a onesie again but a plain one this time. I was at a seaside hotel and I wasn't myself.
I was Helen, who used to work at my place but transferred up North. I was going to a wedding and needed to fix my hair which was short and cropped as mine is, but on Helens head.
I went into a bathroom and closed the door, the room was so tiny that the door squashed me against the oppersite wall, pinning me so I couldn't move. I managed to free my arms and put hair gel in my hands and rubbed it over my head.
I looked into the mirror in front of me and my hair was green! I bent down and rubbed my head, when I tossed my head up, I had lovely bouncey full bodied hair, just like Helen did. So that was her secret.
I was next heading towards a conference hall for a meeting. The room was laid out with numbered tables, I had a piece of paper in my hand with the number 667 written on it. As I looked into the room for my table, Merlin my cat walked past my feet.
Lastly I was in a house that I didn't recognise but it appeared to owned by my wife and myself. We were looking at getting it decorated as the walls had wood chip on them.
Our former landlord was with us along with Adam from work, who was giving us a quote for the work.
The old landlord was pointing things out but using very long words to express himself. Adam kept laughing at him and saying, "I don't even know what that means!" He started to become very annoyed at Adam but he continued to laugh at him and repeat what he was saying.
Wednesday, 9 July 2014
Initially I was being very gracious and understanding towards my wife despite her telling me that she had a new husband. I resigned myself to the fact that as friends I wouldn't see as much of her now that she had married.
I was next at work and my colleagues that cover the Eastern area of our business had all of them had been playing a football match. (Soccer) for my American readers. Lorraine was sat in a car with Simon when their supervisor, Ricky pulled up along side of them.
Ricky then started to chant at them about being beaten in the game and that they were both rubbish at football. Lorraine just flicked him a middle finger and drove off.
Lastly I was in some kind of a hotel or office building, I couldn't tell which. I was being briefed by a female that I didn't know about a mission to rescue a kidnapped Russian woman who was in one of the rooms.
The female opened up a secret panel in the floor and removed a toy gun. She handed it to he and said that the woman's guards were armed and dangerous. She then took me outside the building into the car park to look for my car.
I repeatedly asked her for the woman's name but she kept avoiding the question. I then explained to her that I'd recently watched all five series of Chuck and that I knew a lot about spying. Just as I said this I saw the actor Zachary Levi, who played Chuck. He was standing in the street dressed in his Buy More shirt.
The only difference was that he had hair at the sides of his head but was bald on top. He looked totally miserable too. I approached him and explained that I was just talking about him to the female and then saw him. Zachary in a dull uninterested voice said, "Oh so what did she do, laugh or something?"
Tuesday, 8 July 2014
A very brief but frightening dream from today. I had bitten my tongue off, there was no blood and I could feel only half of it in my mouth.
I was starting to panic and I feel as if I almost forced myself to wake up. Just before I opened my eyes, there was pain in my mouth and my tongue felt swollen.
I can happily report that upon waking, my tongue was intact and I had suffered no injury.
Monday, 7 July 2014
I had what I thought was an amazing solid sleep for what felt like hours this morning, only to be very disappointed. Just prior to waking, I was laying in a house on the floor in the kitchen.
I was motionless for hours and could only move my eyes, which could only take in a cupboard to my left and a wall to my right. Other than that I could see the ceiling.
Knowing I needed the toilet, I became aware of this whilst still laying on the kitchen floor. Thinking I'd had sufficient sleep I managed to ease myself out of my dream and awake. A time check established only a poor two hours sleep!
Sunday, 6 July 2014
A complete coma sleep today after a night shiftz, resulting in just a song in my head upon my waking.
It is the 1964 hit 'Here comes the night' by Van Morrison.
Despite a bold, breezy tone the song's lyrics told a tale of obsessive jealousy and approaching loneliness from the point of view of a rejected lover who voyeuristically watches the new couple.
Saturday, 5 July 2014
I was on a desert island and there didn't seem to be any way of getting off. I found a man who said he would build me a raft made from bubble wrap.
I agreed a price for him to make it but insisted that it had a stereo radio on it. The man told me that the radio would cost £3,600.
I thought that was very excessive but agreed to pay and walked off as he started building it.
I then noticed that the ground was actually a painting and thst it was on a plastic cover spread out over the floor. I tried to find a corner to peel it back.
It didn't work.
Friday, 4 July 2014
I was dreaming through the prospective of another person last night. That person was Mrs Roberts. I have no idea who Mrs Roberts is but she was hiding in a small office on a mezzanine floor.
Below her were two men who appeared to own the place.
An American man entered the room, and they seemed to trust him as they chatted to him and went about their business. They then revealed a huge quantity of cash from a suitcase. Upon seeing this the American promptly shot them both dead.
I was then at the house of friends and work colleagues, Garath and Leeza. I opened their front door and let myself in. Sat in the entrance hall were severval dogs and cats, none of which made any fuss at my presence.
Leeza came down from upstairs holding baby Crew and said, "Why are you so early?" I told her that Mr Roberts had phoned me, that there were two dead men and that there was a fortune in cash. Leeza immediately left the house to head for the office. I called after her, "Who is Mrs Roberts?"
Thursday, 3 July 2014
First off I was walking with Vince from work, we were heading towards my mums house and Vince had a dog on a lead.
As I looked at all the houses, something just didn't look right but I couldn't work out what it was.
Just before reaching mums house it clicked, all the houses were inside out. The contents of the houses were all sat on the front lawns and set up as if they were the rooms. I turned to tell Vince, but he had vanished.
Lastly I was in the living room of a house that I didn't know. My wife was with me and a woman I didn't recognise. The house was a mess, it was clearly the morning after a party, there were peanuts and empty beer cans all over the floor.
In the corner I could see the top half of a naked sleeping man. He was extreamly hairy and his back was like a rug. The man started to wake and stood up with his back to me. He moved over to the corner of the room and started to urinate.
I called out to him, "Hey stop that!" He paused, turned his head to me and smiled. Then continued releaving himself. I was then suddenly in the street and there was a fight taking place in front of me. I could just make out that it was the woman from the house.
She was wearing a brown trench coat, simular to the one Columbo used to have. I watched as she punched and kicked people, putting each one on the floor. I ran over to her and asked what happened. She just replied, "They annoyed me".
Wednesday, 2 July 2014
In total contrast to last night, my head was full of dreams and my brain is tired from it today.
I began by being with my wife, we were on a flat bed trailer that was on a train track. it was night time and looking ahead of us along the track was Martin from work.
Martin laid down on the track with his head facing towards us, he smiled and then both of his nostrils opened to the size of tunnels. The trailer we were on started to move towards him. we then entered the right nostril and passed along a dark tunnel.
I was next in a large department store buying a large flat wardrobe, the box I'd selected and placed onto a trolley had a small hole in the corner. I could hear my mother in law shouting from the other side of the store. She said, "Don't buy it, its broken". I got to the checkout and ripped open the box, it was empty.
This section of my dream has been rated certificate X due to the sexual content and therefore will not be published.
Lastly I was at work in the underground car park when I was approached by Ammie and Charlotte. Ammie asked me if I had seen a pair of glasses in one of the cars. I had found a pair but pretended I hadn't. She then said that Margaret Thatcher had lost them. I started to laugh and Amie guessed that I had them.
She open the door and there was the former Prime Minister walking around in my works car park. Amie waved to her and looked back and said, "Don't worry, I won't tell her".