Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Soup mixer

I was sat inside a huge metal drum along with my mum, we were both up to our knees in vegetable soup, it was warm and very chunky. As I looked down at our predicament, the drum started to spin, sending us upside down and almost drowning in the vegetable liquid. 

I realised that we were inside a cement mixer but clearly the contents being soup. I heard a large engine roaring and through the top of the drum, a circle of light appeared. The drum spun sending the hole to under our feet and the soup drained away leaving us soaked. 

I climbed out of the hole and saw that another cement mixer had taken the soup and was now driving away. I walked off forgetting about my mum still in the mixer 


Sunday, 27 December 2015

House clearance

After attempting to ignore my dreams for a week, I'm back, as it made no difference. My brain is as active as ever whilst I'm asleep. Last night I managed to wake every few hours during the night and continue the dream at the exact point I left off. 

Along with my wife I was in a two storey house that was a total mess, it looked like squatters had been in and trashed the place. It was in fact the mess of a former teenage step child of mine and she was still in the house. 

We told her that she had to go but she refused and laughed in our faces. I left the house upset that the place was such a mess and entered the London underground station of Becontree on the district line. There I stood and looked at the house with sadness. I large bearded man approached me and hugged me as if he knew me. I had no idea who he was. 

I then climbed some steps and found myself looking out through the stained glass windows of a magnificent church. I woke up and it was 1am, back to sleep and I was in the same place, I could still see the house across the street. The day had turned to night and it was raining. As I looked on, a funeral procession left the house, quickly followed by another and another. It was like a conveyor belt. 

I left the church and walked over the street to the house and I was followed by a still grinning teenage step child. I opened the front door and entered into the most prestigious looking house, it was spotlessly clean, had cream coloured carpets and smelt lovely. All the rubbish had gone and it was empty but clean. 

In an upstairs room was Sally, she had a duster in her hand. I asked her how the house was so clean and she replied, "I did it for you" and she hugged me and left. I turned around to the teenage girl and she looked disgusted by the cleanliness and left. 
As I walked out of the front door I found myself in a lobby area. It contained various glass display cabinets that had old books and ornaments in. 

I went back to the station and waited. I woke up checked the time, it was 4am. I closed my eyes and was still in the station. I walked back to the house and opened the front door. To my surprise the house was now a trendy clothes shop, packed from top to bottom. 

I asked a shop assistant how this had happened and she just told me to get out as the shop was now shut. I left and found myself in the lobby area. I looked into the glass cabinets and saw model ships in glass bottles. 

Having now written this I'm wondering if I did wake and continue dreaming from where I left off, or if I actually dreamt I was doing that? 


Sunday, 20 December 2015

No rest for the wicked

By way of an explanation as to why I'm not currently posting my dreams. 

Due to the high brain activity during the night, I am still tired upon waking up. I am currently actively trying to block out my dreams in an attempt to get some solid sleep. 
I'm not performing my normal routine of tasks to help he recall them, I'm still dreaming wired shit but I think it's easing off. 
Watch this space. Or not. 


Friday, 18 December 2015

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Hand written

I spent the night very carefully and neatly writing on paper with a pen. I took great care to write as neatly as I possibly could. I spent hours down no this and when I woke up I was expecting to find a completed novel by my bedside. I didn't. 

Monday, 14 December 2015

Money for sex

I was watching as someone who shall remain nameless was arranging to have sex with another person for the sum of £1,500. I was left with the dilemma if I wanted to watch the act or be told about it later. 

Fortunately this wasn't something I had to decide as the dream moved off to another subject and uncharacteristicly, I can't recall what it was. 


Sunday, 13 December 2015

Wired up

I was in the bathroom of my Nan's old house and my head had a metal bowl on it and coming from this was various wires. The other end of these were connected to a machine which a man was monitoring, it was showing electrical pulses on a screen. 

The man started to ask me questions and each time I replied I started to become very dozy and began falling asleep until I got to the point I was mumbling. I slid down onto the floor and rested my head on the toilet seat. 

Just as I was about to pass out, the bathroom door opened and I stood up and walked into an old style green grocers shop, I saw two boys run past me with arms full of fruit. An Asain lady was sat watching them shaking her head at me. She was upset that I did nothing to stop them. 

I tried to explain to her that it was her shop and she shouldn't just sit there. As I did this I realised I could move because of the wires attached to my head. I then heard two men talking about me, one asked why I was wired up and the other explained it was because I suffer blackouts. 
I then passed out.  


Saturday, 12 December 2015

Ear hair

Most most my dream is unprintable but the part I can post involved a hair that was growing from my ear. I was looking in the mirror to check for any unsightly ear hairs when I noticed one growing from the bottom of my earlobe. 

It was at least three inches long and hung like a long earring, it was thick black in colour and very noticeable. I looked on in horror at my reflection in the mirror wondering how I had missed this. 


Friday, 11 December 2015


I was in an old age persons home along with my mother who was quietly sat in an armchair. I noticed I was the youngest person in the room and so decided to leave. Before I could get out, a nurse sat me down in a chair as if I was a resident. 
To show my disgust at this I dropped my trousers and showed my ass to the other residents. No one noticed. 

Next I was in the street on a child's BMX bike and I was performing stunts. I flipped the front wheel up and the bike shot up into the air and in slow motion spun all the way over backwards and landed right side up on the floor. 


Thursday, 10 December 2015

Moped chase

I was watching a policeman on a quad bike chasing a young girl who was on a moped. She was giving him the slip and whenever he got close, the girl managed to get away. I was getting annoyed watching this and decided to help. 

As the policeman went past me I grabbed his pepper spray off his belt. I stood still and when the girl went past me I sprayed her full in the face and she crashed. The cop ran over and grabbed hold of her finally catching her after being humiliated by her for so long. 

As I ran over to get praise for helping him, the cop let her go. I  couldn't believe it and stood dumbfounded staring at the cop. The girl jumped back on her moped and drove off. The cop got back on his quad bike and gave chase again. 


Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Plane eating

I was sat on an aeroplane that had landed which had stopped and I was stood up by the exit door waiting to get off. The air hostesses were stood by the door and handing out sweets. I was very impatient and just wanted to get off. Eventually I run down the stairs. 

Once at the bottom I found myself in a high street full of people, I was very hungry and was looking for somewhere to eat. I then became aware that I was in the company of a man called Bob. I had no idea who he was but he was hungry too. 

I then saw Nicky from work and she was pointing at the entrance to a pub. I approached her and she told me that the food in there was very good but plain and simple. I looked around at Bob and he was urinating against the pub wall. 


Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Freaky Ronald

I was at work in a room that I didn't recognise, there were two sets of tables that were pushed together to make a square. I was at one with a female that looked vaguely familiar and on the other set of tables was colleague Mary and a few others I didn't know. 

Myself and the female were waiting to be sent to a job, Mary asked what we were doing and I replied, "Absolutely nothing". As I sat looking at the table I was at, I saw some coins that had plastic circular stickers on them, they were see through. 

I took hold of a few and some other items that were on the table and combined them together and made a model of the Ronald McDonalds clown. It looked really freaky and when I showed the female with me, she got up and left. 

I asked Mary if she wanted the toy to take home for her daughter but she seemed totally unimpressed with it. It looked like a cross between Chucky and Ronald, it's eyes were very scary. 


Monday, 7 December 2015

Naked carousel

I was with my wife in a large hall, it was empty but began to fill with people all waiting for some kind of entertainment to begin. When the audience was full, the entertainers started to enter.

Firstly the musician's took their seats at pianos, drums and various other instruments. They were all completely naked. Suddenly a circular area of floor under us started to raise into the air lifting us up. 

It raised to about 20 feet in the air and looked like a giant carousel. Then I noticed a man under our feet through a glass floor, he was naked, I then noticed that both myself and my wife were also totally naked.

Then the music started and our carousel started to spin. As this happened hundreds of sweets started to fly through the air and we reached out and grabbed hand fulls of candy. A naked woman flew past us and opened her mouth, multi coloured liquorice strands came out of her mouth like candy spew.  

We climbed to the bottom of the carousel and started to build a farmyard from the sweets, making them into animals and barns. It was very elaborate.

I do wonder if I dream of being naked so often is as a result of sleeping naked? 


Sunday, 6 December 2015

What's my number?

I started off by giving a random woman two dog chews that my dog wouldn't eat. She took them but looked totally unimpressed. I wandered off muttering to myself how ungrateful she was. 

I was then at work and approached the electronic car key holder. You need to put a PIN number in to access them, the number is exclusive to me and I know it very well. A woman was trying to get a car out and I tapped in my number and handed her a set of car keys. 

I then closed the cabinet and pushed in my number again to get myself a car out. I knew the number and could see the numbers on the keypad but every time I tried to enter my pin, I hit the wrong numbers. 

I continued to do this for ages, I went to hit the PIN numbers but my fingers kept hitting the wrong ones. In the end I just kicked the cabinet and walked away in a mood. 


Saturday, 5 December 2015

Hair fiction

I was at work but the scene was my old school playground. I went into an office and found work colleagues, Alex and Dan who is a supervisor. Alex was telling Dan about someone who had died as a result of what he had done, he was very upset about this but Dan was just laughing at him. 

I started to push a large green box that was on wheels and left Dan still laughing at Alex in the office. I pushed the box across the playground towards another building. As I moved across the car park, Karen, one of the bosses drove her car into a brick wall. She got out and looked at the front of her car and laughed. Her normal red hair was black. 

I pushed the green box into the other building and saw Vince walking past me. He had his hair exactly the same as John Travolta did in the movie, Pulp Fiction. He looked over and smiled at me, as he did his long hair vanished back to his normal style. 


Thursday, 3 December 2015

Clint Eastwood van man

Last night I was Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood and I was driving a white Ford Transit van. It was night time and I was driving around a small village, there were a lot of people around so I assumed it wasn't too late. 

I carefully drove the van up a curb onto the village green and slowly came to a stop in the middle of it. When I was sure most people were looking at me, I slammed on the accelerator and pulled hard on the handbrake. 

The van spun in semi circles ripping up the perfectly manicured lawn. I laughed out of the window as I released the handbrake and shot off along the street, the village green in tatters. 

Next I was following my Aunt Joan as she drove a small car with my mum in the passenger seat. I was thinking this to be odd as I know my aunt doesn't drive. I tried to keep up with her in my car but lost sight of her. 

I turned into a small street and met Joan driving towards me. She stopped and pointed at a house and said, "We are going to Aunt Rene's house". I got out of my car and rang the doorbell of the house. My great aunt Rene opened the door, she looked amazingly well. 

She asked me where my wife was, having previously never met her. I informed her that she was working and great aunt Rene tutted and walked past me and hugged my mum and aunt Joan. 


Wednesday, 2 December 2015


I really am having trouble remembering last nights dream. All I have is a faint memory of something about my ears. 

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

E type upset

My all time favourite car is the Jaguar E Type, just love them and to dream I owned one was fantastic. It was even in red and convertable. I was very happy when I jumped in and started driving along the streets were I grew up. 

It wasn't long before I had the feeling that something wasn't right. There was no engine noise and the car looked very very small. I couldn't get any speed up and as I looked down to try the ignition again, I saw it was a child's peddle car. 

How very disappointing. 

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