Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Frank Spencer contract killer

I know I haven't posted for some time but last nights dream was bizarre to say the least. 

I was 1970's star of Some mothers do have em, Frank Spencer, I was wearing the trademark hat but had replaced the brown Mac with a white doctors coat. Under this I was hiding a shotgun and I was in persuit of my target. He was Graham Garden, one of the Goodies. 

Graham was also in a white doctors coat and when he saw me, he started to run away. I gave chase but being Frank, I fell over and the shotgun went off. Fortunately I manages to shot Graham dead. 
I then entered an old lady's house who was shutting all the doors and windows. 

She looked at me and winked, saying, "Thanks for taking care of Graham for me". There was then a noise coming from the front door. I went to a investigate and carefully open the door. As I did a huge bomb exploded into my face and killed me instantly. 

This was the point I was informed that I was chucking my arms around and making whining sounds by my wife. Well I would if I'd just died. 


Sunday, 7 February 2016

Cannabis eggs & white coats

I haven't posted in an age but last nights activity can't go unrecorded. 

Firstly I was with good friends Steve and Kate, they were huddled together on the outside corner of a building. It was the hospital scene from the game, Grand Theft Auto V and they were both eating Cadburys Cream Eggs. 
A large black nurse approached them and they both giggled, Steve handed me an egg and told me they were Cadurys Cannibis Eggs, I sniffed it and it smelt of weed, I laughed. 

It was next a bright sunny day and I was running dressed in my wife's Reindeer onesie, I was running from my old apartment on the Thames View Estate in Barking Essex and in my mind knew I needed to find a white coat. 
I reached a house I didn't recognise, it was on all different levels and the floorboards banged and creaked as I run around searching for the white coat. 

My dad appeared and greeted me, I explained that I needed a white coat and he told me not to worry and to get out of the house immediately. I did this just as dad pushed a button on the wall and the entire house shot up into the air. 

The top floor of the house contained a band playing, two on guitars and one on the drums. The house smashed into a solid ceiling of rock, crushing the top floor into a few inches n height. The band were crushed to death and their blood dripped to the floors below. 

I then stood at a bus stop situated outside of a barbershop. An Asain man in a white coat was attempting to avoid being seen by something within the shop and kept moving and ducking his head. I looked into the window and there was a row of press photographers in a line. 
When I looked, their flashes all went off and blinded me, I stepped away from the glass and the Asian man was smiling at me.  

Lastly I was sat at work in some kind of meeting, chairs were set out in rows like in a school assembly, I was at the back and a few rows ahead I could see Ex England football legend, Alan Shearer. I was trying to get the attention of my work mates sat around him to tell them but no one could hear me. 

I stood up and started chanting, "Shearer, Shearer". He turned and smiled at me and then was mobbed by everyone around him asking for autographs. 


Monday, 4 January 2016

Sick bus

I was in the city centre of Peterborough and saw that Cathedral square had been set out with school chairs in rows ready for an assembly. Some of the chairs were already taken and I walked in and out of them looking for my work colleagues but didn't recognise anyone. 

I also notice that I was wearing a suit with a long overcoat on and I kept brushing it to remove the odd hair and bit of fluff. I looked very smart. I walked into a building and entered a toilet, inside there was no actual toilet, just a shower and so I pee'd into that. 

I then looked at the closed door and saw a very large gap on the right side which I could see into the next room. I saw my friend Matt sat watching TV, he was completely naked and sat crossed leged like a child would sit. His back was covered in thick black hair that had grown up over his shoulders and onto his chest. 

I next found myself on a bus and looking around it, again didn't recognise anyone. I was desperate to find someone I knew. The bus stopped in the centre of Peterborough and so I disembarked, as I stepped off the bus I saw Marsha who was wearing a fur coat. 

Happy to see someone I knew I ran at her and hugged her, as I pulled away I saw that she was covered in vomit. She apologised that someone had vomited on her in the bus. I looked down at my immaculate clothes in horror as I now had sick all over me. 

I then went into the shopping centre in order to find a dry cleaners, confident I knew all the shops and where to find one. To my dismay, every shop had changed into one I didn't know, none of them had any names and there was no dry cleaners to be found.  


Friday, 1 January 2016

Keira Knightley cannibal

My wife was with another woman that I didn't know and they were watching actress Keira Knightley who was a short distance away laying on the floor. Laying next to Keira was a person, not sure what sex because I could only see their head right next to hers. 

A high powered rifle fired from somewhere and a bullet blew the top of the persons head off, splattering brain matter all over Keira. She didn't flinch or even seem concerned but instead started to pick up parts of brain and began eating it. 

The woman next to my wife asked who the cannibal was and my wife replied, "That's my sister". Then she looked at my wife and they began kissing. Much to my great disappointment I woke up at this point! 

09 10