Monday, 24 April 2017

People for dinner

I was moving into an apartment with my wife and was busy carrying boxes into rooms.
A man who I have never seen before was suddenly in the room with us.
He started to ask questions, which started off as inquisitive at first, but then he was just being too personal.

Unhappy with his line of questions I punched him in the face and then continued bringing in boxes.

I then saw the same man walking up some stone steps towards a court where he was about to attend.
At the top, a woman walked past him and the man grabbed her arm. He then produced an axe and chopped her hand clean off.

Holding her arm up in the air the man then started pulling veins and arteries out of her and then dropping them into his mouth like spaghetti.

He continued eating her innards until her body was just a empty bag of skin. He then discarded it like an empty paper bag.


Saturday, 8 April 2017

Earthquake miricle

Last night I was under house arrest for some reason. I was also disabled and in a wheelchair, unable to use my legs.

I was attempting to plot my escape by writing a plan on a white board but was clearly hampered by my lack of legs. My captors knew this and so where happy to leave me unattended.

Suddenly there was a huge earthquake that shook the entire house, I panicked and jumped out of my chair and ran up to the window and climbed out.

Somehow the earthquake had enabled me to walk again.
I strolled into a big hall where I knew my captors were to show off.

Clearly not thinking this through in my delight in being able to walk again as I was promptly apprehended again!


Thursday, 6 April 2017


I was totally and utterly lost in a big city, nothing looked familiar and I knew nobody.
I kept going up to people and asking for directions but as in my waking life, I forgot them the instant I was told them.

I went to a woman at a train station and she gave me a host of lefts and rights. I walked onto the street and just looked around me in despair.

A man approached me and I asked him if he could help me. He unrolled a poster and said, "I certainly can" 
The poster was a photo of me with a caption of 'This man has no sense of direction'  with a phone number at the bottom.

I knew instantly that my wife had created this knowing my appalling habit of getting lost.

The man rang the number on the poster and suddenly my dear departed nan and grandad appeared, both hugged me and I cried with happiness.

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